Pregnancy changes you in many ways, physically, emotionally and spiritually. You go into it with your eyes wide open, I know that is what I did. When it came to it though, I realised that I couldn't ever prepare myself for something I had never done before. It was a guessing game and completely foreign to me. It was a case of listening to my body and rolling with the punches.
Of course it's now almost 4 years since I welcomed Leo into the world, and those 4 years really have, in every sense of the word. FLOWN BY. We walked around bleary eyed through the first couple of months, found magic in all of the firsts that happened in the blink of an eye, and celebrated the little life we were helping to grow and mold, to teach and love.
These early years have been a mixture of different emotions, and when people describe parenthood as an emotional roller-coaster, they really have hit the nail on the head. Anxiety, laughter, worry, happiness, exhaustion, more laughter and that feeling of doing something completely amazing. That feeling growing when you see your child learning and excelling.
There is one thing that I lost in those first few years, and that was myself. My world was revolving around Leo completely, and quite rightly so, but I was existing as Leo's Mum. It was last year when I decided to start making some life changes that have completely changed my life. My world still revolves around Leo, and I wouldn't change that, not ever. He will always be the very center of my universe. I did need to do something just for me though, something that helped me re-discover 'Laura' again. I knew that somewhere under the title of 'Leo's Mum' that 'Laura' was still in there...Somewhere, but how was I going to coax her out of hiding?
There were a number of things I wanted to do, I wanted to lose weight, and this was actually my very first point of call. I began watching what I was eating, and the weight started to melt away. I needed to visit the opticians because ever since I was pregnant I had felt that my eyes weren't performing as well as they once had. In fact there were days that everything felt a little hazy, nothing to sinister but it was a noticeable difference to me. I booked myself an appointment at Optical Express, and they completely cleared me. They told me my eye sight was perfect without even a hint of prescription. This of course put a big smile on my face,
A year later I feel pretty amazing about everything I have achieved this year. I feel like by giving myself time just for me in an evening, time to get out of the house and go to the gym that I have been able to re-connect with myself again.
Parenthood changes your life forever, and it will always define you, but ultimately you are still you. Never feel guilty for needing some time out. Find a way to work it into your daily or weekly routine.
A happier parent makes a happier child.
Never feel guilty about doing something just for you. You deserve it.