A Little Life Update

It's been all systems go behind the scenes over here at Life Unexpected, so here is a little life update to keep everything ticking along nicely!

In early December Luke and I set the date for our wedding! I was meant to do a whole post about how we got engaged a year ago on Christmas Eve, but unfortunately it is 13 months later and I never actually did *slaps hand* - I will get there!

We knew the exact venue that we wanted almost straight after we got engaged, in fact it was the only place we actually went to look around. We just knew it was where we wanted to have the day straight away. It's local to where we live which is perfect for friends and family within the local area, but it's also just far enough away to really make use of the beautiful rolling hillside of Bredon.

Bredon Hill is one of our favourite family walks, one we have walked many many times, and the venue of Deer Park Hall falls just below the hills peak in beautiful rolling hillside with a park full of deer!

We have a lot to sort out this year what with Luke's flat and the whole issue with the lease... We currently have 2 solicitors on the go trying to help us work this worm hole. One of the solicitors is pursuing a potential negligence claim with the solicitors Luke used to purchase the flat back in 2016. They never once advised against the lease or advised that the ground rent was onerous (which they would have been aware of and should have advised on!).

The second solicitor specialises in leases and lease extensions, and is helping us pursue an extension to reduce the ground rent to a peppercorn rent (as you can see it's been all systems go around here.... And this really is just the tip of the ice berg!).

We should have an update on the whole sorry scenario by the end of this month and know how to progress. 

Christmas has been and gone, and although it feels like a lifetime ago we all had a really lovely time. On the run up to the big day we spent lots of time together as a family and had a trip to the pantomime over at Malvern Theatre to watch Aladdin.

We popped over to Webbs of Wychbold for a spot of ice skating and even caught a showing of the Muppets Christmas Carol at our local cinema.

Unfortunately Luke had to work this year, but Father Christmas delivered in time for Leo to open his gifts while Luke was still at home.

We spent the day at my parents eating far too much food and playing with all of the wonderful new additions that had appeared under the Christmas Tree.

New Year was a quiet affair and was quite simply one for the 3 of us, we saw the New Year in together and then made our merry way to bed.

Right now we are in the final stages of planning a rather epic family trip for the February half term, on the 16th all 3 of us are flying out to New York for 3 days. We will be staying near Central Park at The Wellington Hotel, and we are all very excited for some amazing adventures.

We figured after all of the disappointment last year, what with the not buying a house thing, the miscarriage and just trying to keep looking on the bright side, we all deserved something to look forward to.

As it happens this trip actually ties together beautifully, we should have been having a baby this month, but instead we are going to head state side and make some amazing family memories and remember the little life that we never got to meet.

We have purchased the New York City Pass so that we can fill our boots with all of the attractions on offer, so everything that I couldn't do last time will be seen and experienced this time with both of my boys!

If that wasn't enough... When we get back from New York we will be staying a few days in London where we will be showing Leo everything that he has not yet experienced in our wonderful Capital City.

That isn't the end of our family trip though... For one final shabang we are jetting back off again, but this time to Venice! None of us have ever been to Venice or even Italy for that matter, so we are really excited to see what it is like.

Lux will be heading off to the kennels for 11 days, we have our ESTA's in place, up to date passports and all we need to do now is sort our insurance!

Aside from all of the travelling, I have just this past week had Leo's draft EHCP through. I have gone over the plan with Leo's school's SEN and together we have made some slight changes before we accept the plan.

It's simply a case of waiting now to see what comes back and hopefully just accepting the EHCP plan so that it is ready to go.

So for now we are just looking ahead and putting one foot in front of the other. There is light at the end of the tunnel and this trip and the wedding planning are going to keep that smile firmly on our faces.

Fighting for a EHCP and Mediation

Shortly before schools finished for the summer holiday, our then SEN teacher was working hard towards gathering and submitting evidence for Leo's EHCP (Education Care Health Plan), you may recall that I actually attempted to do this for Leo myself back in 2017.

Back then I hit a stumbling block, I can only assume within the school as they said that at this point they could accommodate for Leo's SEN nee

ds within the current academic setting. I wasn't convinced but agreed for the time that I would let the decision ride. Flash forward 2 years and we are talking potential EHCP's again, only this time the school are suggesting that it may be beneficial.

Of course I backed the decision entirely, the evidence gathering began and was submitted just before the end of the Summer term. I didn't hold much hope of actually achieving the EHCP as I had heard that they were like gold dust, but I did hope that with Leo's Tourette Syndrome diagnosis we may have more of a chance of obtaining it. 

Summer flew by and we were soon back at school and ready to kick start Year 4, Leo's tics had really faded to nothing over the summer holiday, but with the academic year starting again we fell back to earth with a crash. 

A month later we had the letter that I had been anxiously awaiting, a letter sealing our EHCP fate. 

It had of course been denied. 

Another stumbling block, another no, another door shut in our faces. 

Another case of Leo being on the cusp, a seemingly typical child, beautifully behaved, but had SEN needs that were beyond your typical school child, not severe enough for a 'special' school, but a delay none the less.

As I sat there reading the letter that had been issued, I decided then and there that this wasn't the end of the fight. We would appeal, we would go to mediation and if needed tribunal. 

I had a meeting with Leo's new SEN teacher who is quite frankly amazing, luckily for us she really knows her stuff having been on both sides of the coin. She once worked for the local authority and met with families to decide why and how they should issue an EHCP, and she now works as a SEN teacher within our school academy. 

We formulated a plan, we met with the Local Authority who went through their decision, it became apparent that it was a lack of evidence that had resulted in our 'No'. We had 3 months from the date of the letter to go to mediation, they told us that we should leave it as long as we could in order to gather further evidence that could potentially provide a different outcome. 

We did just that, and a few days before the appeal process closed forever I sat and composed an email making sure that I included everyone I needed to within the email chain. To go through the mediation process we had to contact a mediator, I emailed the Two that were recommended on the letter, and quickly heard back from one of them.

Before I made a decision on who I would prefer to work with, I spoke with both of the mediators on a separate basis. I opted for a man named Charles, he was full of knowledge and came with a great reputation, he role would be to listen and essentially lead the mediation meeting, he would pose his own questions and give structure to the agenda. 

Charles said something on that very first phone call that really stayed with me 'Remember when you were at school and posed with a maths question? After all is said and done, the working out was always the most important part. If you got the working out wrong, the answer would be wrong'. Charles emphasised the importance of evidence, things like costed lesson plans, he stressed that schools were so busy teaching the kids, that their working out was often lacking, and the lack of evidence was often the reason for the negative outcome.

Wise words!

It was hard getting a date in the diary being so closed to Christmas, but we eventually nailed down as many of the required attendees as we could, and confirmed the date for Friday 13th December 2019.

We met at a local hotel in the library, I brought my Dad along for moral support as Luke was away with work. Charles the mediator was present along with our school SEN and a lady from the local authority.

I had prepared an A4 page of my own thoughts and feelings which was essentially a short over view of Leo's entire educational background. I spoke about how the initial concerns were raised at Leo's 2 and a half year check and how those concerns were then highlighted at Nursery level and followed him into his school life. 

Our SEN teacher then gave her evidence, Charles did his bit and within an hour the Local Authority had decided in our favour and granted Leo the EHCP that we had been fighting for. 

It was such a productive afternoon, and I am still in disbelief that we managed to change their minds and get something that will be so beneficial to Leo throughout the rest of his education.

I do wish that this had been granted years ago, I kick myself for backing down and not going with my gut, but we got to the finish line in the end. 

For Leo this now means that he will have his own funding within school to help him achieve his individual goals, it will stay with him until he is 18 and leaves school. It means that Leo can attend any school I feel is best for him, even if it is out of catchment. We apply and it's almost a give in that he will get in.

We should have our draft plan with us by the end of January, at this point I will have another meeting with Leo's SEN teacher and we will make sure the plan is what we need. I have been advised that even if amendments are needed to the over all plan, to accept it and make the changes at a later date so that at least the ball is rolling.

I finally feel like we have got somewhere, I have spent years banging my head against a brick wall with no real outcome, but finally I have made enough waves to ride all the way to the shore. 

It's so important to always keep fighting, to always stand your ground and not stop talking until you are listened to.