Surprise! We’re Having our Rainbow Baby!

We have been keeping a little secret for the last 15 weeks, we will be welcoming our second baby into the world in August!

I am due around my birthday which is just completely lovely, I turn 31 on August 8th and baby is due the following day on August 9th.

It’s not been the easiest 15 weeks, we had some health concerns for the baby that means following a 10 week scan we were referred to Birmingham Fetal Medicine for additional scans and tests. I won’t go into that on this post, but I have of course been blogging behind the scenes so I can share our story with you now, following this happy post, a post I have been waiting to share when I know everything is ok.

Thankfully we have been given the green light and everything is looking good with our little rainbow, which is the best outcome I didn’t dare dream 5 weeks ago. 

We are currently in New York City, and we decided it would be here that we announce the impending arrival of our second, and much wanted baby.

Nugget is arriving August 2020 and we are so excited, and it’s so nice to see Leo so happy about being a big brother. 

FINALLY! 

The Due Date After a Miscarriage

The 11th February 2020 was my estimated due date for the baby I lost back in July. 

Today is the 11th February 2020.

Today we should have either already be holding our baby in our arms, having our baby or getting very close to meeting the latet addition of our family.

I wondered how I would feel on this day, when it all happened I thought that today would be awful and incredibly sad. Weirdly it seems that time is a healer. I think I have cried all my tears and accepted that for some reason unknown to me, this was not our time.

Instead of nursing our baby or labouring, I have been in work. I have dropped Leo off at school and then picked him up again. In the grand scheme of things it was just like any other ordinary day, no stand out moments or signs. 

Just an ordinary Tuesday in February. 

A day that I should have been counting down for, a day that should have been filled with love and joy.

I have thought about the miscarriage every day since it happened, I have wondered who that little person would grow up to be, all the while knowing that I will never really have the answers. One thing is for sure though, the time really has flown by.

It is weird to think that the pregnancy would have come to term now, that we would be coming out of the other side. After we lost our baby I had to quickly delete all of my pregnancy apps and I couldn't bring myself to log back into the Babycantre forum that I had been frequenting, but this week I felt ready to pop back in and see what had been going on.

Ladies I had spoken to were all having or had already had their little February babies. My journey had come to an end, but for them the real journey was just begining. 

I still haven't found the tree to bury our baby in, but I do feel ready now. Perhaps today should have been the day to mark our due date, a way to solidify that they existed if only for a blink of an eye. 

I guess now I am released from the counting, from the waiting. Pondering how many weeks I would be now, wondering what might have been. It feels like the time has completed and although it sadly does not mark the start of a new life, it marks the end of a period of time.

I wonder if I will feel more emotional on July 30th, when 12 months since the miscarriage knocks at the door. 

Happy would have been due date little one.

Tourettes, Tics & The Complex Vocal Tic

This weekend I think I have felt the most parent guilt I have felt in my 8 years of being a Mum. 

I realise that I have a very uniqie parenting scenatio when it comes to Leo, his Tourettes and the tics that come out to play with increased anxiety. I never know when we are going to get an influx of the dreaded vocal tics, sometimes I can pre-empt them with the end of the school holidays, which 9 times out of 10 the root cause.

Then there are instances like this week, when it happens and I don't really know why. 

I noticed at the start of last week that the high pitch sqeal was more prominent. Each day after school it would increase in intensity. Then by Friday we faced a full on tic explosion, on the scale we faced when Leo returned to school after the summer holiday's last year...

From the moment Leo got in the car at 3:15 we had high pitch vocal squeals. The kind of shrill squeal that hits the ear drum and makes it shake. The kind that should not be mixed when you are driving a car. 

These tics repeated every 10-15 seconds, how do I know that? I know because I heard each and every single one, and I timed them. 

This happened all night Friday, all day Saturday (expect for the trip into town), all Sunday and still going strong Monday night. 

Friday night was by far the hardest night. 

The constant tics hurt my ears and my head, and there was no where to go to hide from it. Leo was in his room, but this is where my intense parenting guilt comes into play. I didn't want him to feel like he HAD to be in his room, but at the same time I was finding it hard to sit next to him because each squeal was going right through me.

It's almost like a smoke detector that beeps and beeps, before you have to change the batteries. Only we can't stop this. 

There was really nothing I could do for the best. We couldn't just cuddle up and watch a film, I couldn't read him a story. I was at a complete loss of what to do. Instead I let everything get to me and ended up in tears because I had no where to hide, no idea what to do for the best.

It's a catch 22 situation, I couldn't and can't do right for doing wrong. I don't want Leo to think that he couldn't or shouldn't tic in his home, in his safe place, but at the same time I just needed the noise to go quiet and to have a little bit of space, time without my ears feeling like they were going to split in two. 

Then I think about how he must feel, his throat must be feeling so sore, but he just gets on with it. Not once does he complain. I remind myself that we go through these phases, and yes they are hard but we always weather them. 

Eventually the squeal tic goes back into hibernation for a while.

Im frustrated that I can't do more for Leo, I have put in in front of CAMHS (Children & Adolescent Mental Health Services) in the hope that I can obtain CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) for Leo, but they declined on the basis that Leo's mental health wasn't 'in need' enough. It is like banging your head against a brick wall over and over again until it bleeds. Every avenue I look down and explore for Leo often results in a door banging shut in my face.

I would hate for Leo's mental health to deteriate to the point where CAMHS might think 'ok we will see him now'. I had been pre-warned that unless your bleeding, they will quite simply not see you. I am sad to report that this is exactly what I have come to find.

We are coming to the end of term, and I can't put my finger on exactly what has caused this particular flare up. I have spoken to him and asked how he is feeling, but all I can get is that he is worried about his school work, Math's in particular. Having spoken to his teacher though, he's his usual self within school, Leo supresses tics throughout the day so no one ever hears them there, but when he comes home, I get the full on storm of them.

As I write this the tics continue...

We fly to New York on Sunday, which is an 8 hour flight in close proximity with lots of other people. The thought of this right now makes me feel very anxious. So much so that I have actually been in touch with Virgin Atlantic who were really lovely. They have told me not to worry about it and advised that they can board us first or last depending on what will suit Leo better, and even asked if there is anythig else they can do. 

 

The only thing I can think of is providing all of the other passengers with ear plugs!

I am hoping that come Thursday when Leo finishes for half term, the tics may relent their hold on him. That we may be able to enjoy our holiday without Leo being held hostage by his tics.

This won't be the last time we go through this, and god knows it's not the first. It's the first time it's made me cry though, I just wish I could make it all better for him, to take them away.

We have been out shopping before now and the tics have happened in public, and we do get some looks. Mainly the kind that look to me to stop my child making such a noise, which of course I can't and won't try. When I ignore the tic (I never draw attention to them or mark them), the look changes to one that second guesses me and my parenting. 

They aren't to know, but I always wonder what I might say to someone who takes the judgement a little further than staring, and actually dares critisice.

I don't think I would be able to hold back...

A Little Life Update

It's been all systems go behind the scenes over here at Life Unexpected, so here is a little life update to keep everything ticking along nicely!

In early December Luke and I set the date for our wedding! I was meant to do a whole post about how we got engaged a year ago on Christmas Eve, but unfortunately it is 13 months later and I never actually did *slaps hand* - I will get there!

We knew the exact venue that we wanted almost straight after we got engaged, in fact it was the only place we actually went to look around. We just knew it was where we wanted to have the day straight away. It's local to where we live which is perfect for friends and family within the local area, but it's also just far enough away to really make use of the beautiful rolling hillside of Bredon.

Bredon Hill is one of our favourite family walks, one we have walked many many times, and the venue of Deer Park Hall falls just below the hills peak in beautiful rolling hillside with a park full of deer!

We have a lot to sort out this year what with Luke's flat and the whole issue with the lease... We currently have 2 solicitors on the go trying to help us work this worm hole. One of the solicitors is pursuing a potential negligence claim with the solicitors Luke used to purchase the flat back in 2016. They never once advised against the lease or advised that the ground rent was onerous (which they would have been aware of and should have advised on!).

The second solicitor specialises in leases and lease extensions, and is helping us pursue an extension to reduce the ground rent to a peppercorn rent (as you can see it's been all systems go around here.... And this really is just the tip of the ice berg!).

We should have an update on the whole sorry scenario by the end of this month and know how to progress. 

Christmas has been and gone, and although it feels like a lifetime ago we all had a really lovely time. On the run up to the big day we spent lots of time together as a family and had a trip to the pantomime over at Malvern Theatre to watch Aladdin.

We popped over to Webbs of Wychbold for a spot of ice skating and even caught a showing of the Muppets Christmas Carol at our local cinema.

Unfortunately Luke had to work this year, but Father Christmas delivered in time for Leo to open his gifts while Luke was still at home.

We spent the day at my parents eating far too much food and playing with all of the wonderful new additions that had appeared under the Christmas Tree.

New Year was a quiet affair and was quite simply one for the 3 of us, we saw the New Year in together and then made our merry way to bed.

Right now we are in the final stages of planning a rather epic family trip for the February half term, on the 16th all 3 of us are flying out to New York for 3 days. We will be staying near Central Park at The Wellington Hotel, and we are all very excited for some amazing adventures.

We figured after all of the disappointment last year, what with the not buying a house thing, the miscarriage and just trying to keep looking on the bright side, we all deserved something to look forward to.

As it happens this trip actually ties together beautifully, we should have been having a baby this month, but instead we are going to head state side and make some amazing family memories and remember the little life that we never got to meet.

We have purchased the New York City Pass so that we can fill our boots with all of the attractions on offer, so everything that I couldn't do last time will be seen and experienced this time with both of my boys!

If that wasn't enough... When we get back from New York we will be staying a few days in London where we will be showing Leo everything that he has not yet experienced in our wonderful Capital City.

That isn't the end of our family trip though... For one final shabang we are jetting back off again, but this time to Venice! None of us have ever been to Venice or even Italy for that matter, so we are really excited to see what it is like.

Lux will be heading off to the kennels for 11 days, we have our ESTA's in place, up to date passports and all we need to do now is sort our insurance!

Aside from all of the travelling, I have just this past week had Leo's draft EHCP through. I have gone over the plan with Leo's school's SEN and together we have made some slight changes before we accept the plan.

It's simply a case of waiting now to see what comes back and hopefully just accepting the EHCP plan so that it is ready to go.

So for now we are just looking ahead and putting one foot in front of the other. There is light at the end of the tunnel and this trip and the wedding planning are going to keep that smile firmly on our faces.

10 Weeks Pregnant

It's been 2 weeks since my private scan, and the last week has gone really slowly as I have been waiting for my dating scan with the NHS. This isn't the 12 week scan, but a scan to see how far along I am due to my cycles being irregular. 

Everything has been going perfectly, I was happy knowing that at 8 weeks there was a strong heartbeat, and this did help settle my mind.

I have felt less tired in recent weeks and I have put that down to the placenta starting to take over for the baby's nutrients. I am back to later nights at 10 weeks pregnant, Luke and I have been working our way through the Alien movies each evening once Leo has gone to bed.

One thing that has become very obvious is that I am not a fan of the first trimester. It's so hard being pregnant and not knowing if things are progressing as they should. You can't feel your baby move and you literally have to have blind faith that everything is going to be ok.

I think this is even more true when you don't have full blown pregnancy symptoms, for me all I have really had is tiredness and sore boobs. I have developed a few food aversions again, Halloumi is off the menu for starter, I don't know what is about this cheese when I am pregnant but I hate it.

The other night I cooked up a beautiful big steak to have in a salad, but when it came to eat the steak it just didn't taste right. The dog thought he had died and gone to heaven when the opportunity to demolish the steak came about, I stuck with my feta and salad!

The NHS Dating Scan

Today, the 16th January 2020 my NHS dating scan finally came around. I didn't really have any feelings about this scan, I was eager to see that the baby's heart was still nice and strong, but I had just somehow decided that everything was going to be ok.

Luke and I arrived at the hospital, the same hospital that I was scanned at back in July when I was referred for my viability scan due to no heartbeat being detected. I was pleased to see that Nicky, the midwife who had seen me through my pregnancy with Leo, and also the one who conducted the scan back in July was still at the helm and doing the scan for us today.

It was in a different room to last time, a room that I felt was a safe space un-tainted by the past. Nicky welcomed us in and advised us that there was a student with us today, which of course was fine with myself and Luke. I lay down on the bed, Luke sat in the chair.

The gel was placed upon my belly and very quickly our baby appeared on the screen. I could already tell that baby had done a considerable amount of growing in those 2 weeks. At the 8 week scan Nugget was 17.8mm from crown to rump, and now at 10+5 Nugget was already 39mm!

I felt instantly relaxed as soon as I saw our little baby waving around on the screen, there was constant movement and the heart was beating just as it should. Nicky then said 'I do need to make you aware that there is more fluid than we would like behind the babies neck'.

This is usually highlighted around 12 weeks when they carry out the Nuchal Translucency (NT) check, this is the fluid that collects under the skin behind the babies neck. I recalled my midwife Louise talking about this check at 12 weeks, I remember saying that I wanted it.

Not for one second did I think it would be a cause for concern.

I didn't realise the severity of what she was saying right away, I just lay there in shock staring at our baby on the screen. Nicky explained that fluid behind the babies neck was a normal part of development for babies in the womb, but if the baby has more fluid than usual.... It could be an indication of a possible health problem.

Straight away my happy safe little bubble burst.

Nicky took some more measurements and confirmed that our little Nugget had 4.7mm of fluid and then talked us through the possible scenarios that could be linked to an increased NT.

- Trisomy 21 otherwise known as Down Syndrome - It's caused by an extra chromosome in your cells and occurs by chance at the time of conception.

-Trisomy 18 - Edwards Syndrome - I had never heard of this one but as soon as I took to Google I hoped to God that this wasn't the case. Edwards Syndrome is a rare but serious genetic condition that causes a wide range of medical problems.

-Trisomy 13 - Patau Syndrome - Patau syndrome is a syndrome caused by a chromosomal abnormality, in which some or all of the cells of the body contain extra genetic material from chromosome 13. The extra genetic material disrupts normal development, causing multiple and complex organ defects.

- Genetic Syndromes

-Heart Abnormalities

- Increased risk of miscarriage

Nicky said that although it could be something, it may very well be nothing. Nicky talked us through the next steps and advised that following the scan today I would now be receiving consultant lead care for the rest of my pregnancy.

It was too early for the screening blood test to take place, and we discussed Chronic Villus Sampling (CVS), this is a diagnostic test that they can carry out between 11 and 14 weeks of pregnancy. It's an invasive test that I never thought that I would have to consider. It's where a needle is passed into your lower abdomen and into the placenta where cells are harvested and tested to look for the above chromosome abnormalities.

I looked at Luke for reassurance on what to do, the CVS had a 1-2% risk of miscarriage, we discussed what to do. We decided that we should be fully prepared and know what was happening, and the sooner the better.

In the seriousness of the scan I completely forgot to ask to purchase some scan photos. I had started walking down the corridor by the time I realised the error of my ways. I rushed back to the room like a mad woman, and Nicky had already closed the screen. She told me that she would post the images to me free of charge.

I returned to work and as I had already told the lady I work with about the pregnancy, she was of course excited to hear how I had gotten on. I explained that there was good news and some not so good news and went into the whole sorry tale.

Of course I didn't manage to stay composed and the tears did fall.

In all of the worry about the worst case scenario I had completely neglected to mention that the baby's due date was my birthday!

Our little nugget is due on the 8th August 2020! Exactly 31 years since I was born.

I am determined to remain positive, I will see this through and hope that Nugget is developing as he should be.

While I was back at work, Nikki text me and said that she had printed the scan photos off already and if I wanted to pop back that afternoon I could. When I did pop back she was in the middle of someone else's ultrasound but popped out to personally hand me the scan photos. She asked me to keep her updated and told me that she was crossing her fingers for me.

Nicky made today bearable, she equipped me with everything I needed to know (and writing it down here has really helped).

The NHS have been wonderful today, from Nicky and the referral that she has made for me to Worcester calling me up by 2:30pm (I expect this is where I will be seeing the consultant for the rest of my pregnancy) and by 4pm I had Birmingham's Fetal Medicine Department on the phone arranging an appointment for the CVS for Tuesday 21st January at 4pm!

The service today has been incredible, it may not have been the news I was hoping for, but I feel like we are in good hands.

Fighting for a EHCP and Mediation

Shortly before schools finished for the summer holiday, our then SEN teacher was working hard towards gathering and submitting evidence for Leo's EHCP (Education Care Health Plan), you may recall that I actually attempted to do this for Leo myself back in 2017.

Back then I hit a stumbling block, I can only assume within the school as they said that at this point they could accommodate for Leo's SEN nee

ds within the current academic setting. I wasn't convinced but agreed for the time that I would let the decision ride. Flash forward 2 years and we are talking potential EHCP's again, only this time the school are suggesting that it may be beneficial.

Of course I backed the decision entirely, the evidence gathering began and was submitted just before the end of the Summer term. I didn't hold much hope of actually achieving the EHCP as I had heard that they were like gold dust, but I did hope that with Leo's Tourette Syndrome diagnosis we may have more of a chance of obtaining it. 

Summer flew by and we were soon back at school and ready to kick start Year 4, Leo's tics had really faded to nothing over the summer holiday, but with the academic year starting again we fell back to earth with a crash. 

A month later we had the letter that I had been anxiously awaiting, a letter sealing our EHCP fate. 

It had of course been denied. 

Another stumbling block, another no, another door shut in our faces. 

Another case of Leo being on the cusp, a seemingly typical child, beautifully behaved, but had SEN needs that were beyond your typical school child, not severe enough for a 'special' school, but a delay none the less.

As I sat there reading the letter that had been issued, I decided then and there that this wasn't the end of the fight. We would appeal, we would go to mediation and if needed tribunal. 

I had a meeting with Leo's new SEN teacher who is quite frankly amazing, luckily for us she really knows her stuff having been on both sides of the coin. She once worked for the local authority and met with families to decide why and how they should issue an EHCP, and she now works as a SEN teacher within our school academy. 

We formulated a plan, we met with the Local Authority who went through their decision, it became apparent that it was a lack of evidence that had resulted in our 'No'. We had 3 months from the date of the letter to go to mediation, they told us that we should leave it as long as we could in order to gather further evidence that could potentially provide a different outcome. 

We did just that, and a few days before the appeal process closed forever I sat and composed an email making sure that I included everyone I needed to within the email chain. To go through the mediation process we had to contact a mediator, I emailed the Two that were recommended on the letter, and quickly heard back from one of them.

Before I made a decision on who I would prefer to work with, I spoke with both of the mediators on a separate basis. I opted for a man named Charles, he was full of knowledge and came with a great reputation, he role would be to listen and essentially lead the mediation meeting, he would pose his own questions and give structure to the agenda. 

Charles said something on that very first phone call that really stayed with me 'Remember when you were at school and posed with a maths question? After all is said and done, the working out was always the most important part. If you got the working out wrong, the answer would be wrong'. Charles emphasised the importance of evidence, things like costed lesson plans, he stressed that schools were so busy teaching the kids, that their working out was often lacking, and the lack of evidence was often the reason for the negative outcome.

Wise words!

It was hard getting a date in the diary being so closed to Christmas, but we eventually nailed down as many of the required attendees as we could, and confirmed the date for Friday 13th December 2019.

We met at a local hotel in the library, I brought my Dad along for moral support as Luke was away with work. Charles the mediator was present along with our school SEN and a lady from the local authority.

I had prepared an A4 page of my own thoughts and feelings which was essentially a short over view of Leo's entire educational background. I spoke about how the initial concerns were raised at Leo's 2 and a half year check and how those concerns were then highlighted at Nursery level and followed him into his school life. 

Our SEN teacher then gave her evidence, Charles did his bit and within an hour the Local Authority had decided in our favour and granted Leo the EHCP that we had been fighting for. 

It was such a productive afternoon, and I am still in disbelief that we managed to change their minds and get something that will be so beneficial to Leo throughout the rest of his education.

I do wish that this had been granted years ago, I kick myself for backing down and not going with my gut, but we got to the finish line in the end. 

For Leo this now means that he will have his own funding within school to help him achieve his individual goals, it will stay with him until he is 18 and leaves school. It means that Leo can attend any school I feel is best for him, even if it is out of catchment. We apply and it's almost a give in that he will get in.

We should have our draft plan with us by the end of January, at this point I will have another meeting with Leo's SEN teacher and we will make sure the plan is what we need. I have been advised that even if amendments are needed to the over all plan, to accept it and make the changes at a later date so that at least the ball is rolling.

I finally feel like we have got somewhere, I have spent years banging my head against a brick wall with no real outcome, but finally I have made enough waves to ride all the way to the shore. 

It's so important to always keep fighting, to always stand your ground and not stop talking until you are listened to. 

Pregnancy Update - Weeks 4-8

I didn't start writing lots of posts like last time, just in case the worst should happen.. again. So I just let the days and weeks tick by, I am writing now as I have had my early scan and I know that everything is ok. Baby has a beautiful strong heartbeat and I know how far along I am.

At this moment in time I am 8 weeks + 5, I found out stupidly early again though, 10 days past ovulation and before the HCG was strong enough for a Clear Blue Digital to even pick it up, the first one of those I got was a 'Not Pregnant' - Which in true style I popped open and revealed the faintest lines inside!

Over New Year and into early January I suffered with flu like symptoms, the lurgi had been doing the rounds and I was unlucky enough to succumb to it. I put off taken paracetamol for the first day due to the worry, but eventually gave in as even my eyes were hurting.

It was reassuring to know that we had the early scan booked.

We went along to our early scan and baby lined up with my dates bar a few days, and we were given the Estimated Due Date of August 11th 2020! I was originally on the 7th August 2020 so it was literally just 4 days out from my own estimate which i'm pretty impressed with!

Fast forward a few days to the 29th November and I got my 'Pregnant - 1-2 weeks.

In the first few weeks up until what would have been about 6/7 I was incredibly tired.

Luke was away with work training, and he would ring around 10pm but I was already spark out asleep, so we went almost a week without physically talking on the phone due to the tiredness. Aside from the tiredness my boobs have been progressing in soreness and getting more veiny. It's strange how it happened because it really has been a gradual process and now they are noticeably sore, but not as sore as I remember them being in my pregnancy with Leo.

The tiredness as well, it's not the same as the tiredness in my first pregnancy. Up until 6/7 weeks I was in bed nice and early.... but now at almost 9 weeks I am back to staying up late again. If anything there have been some nights where I cannot sleep, or when I have the dreams have been so vivid and real.

I had a dream that mine and Luke's wedding went horribly wrong with lost rings and double bookings, I dreamt that I went to my baby scan and they found the baby straight away. That was the best dream, it almost felt like my body telling me that everything was going to be ok. 

I had the opposite dream in my previous pregnancy, I had dreamed that at the scan there was no heartbeat, and subsequently went on to miscarry, but following my latest dream, I went to the scan and saw my little baby's heartbeat beating away on the screen!

Luke and I had kept the news to ourselves, the only person who knew outside our little fold was my sister Alice (who actually got sent the pregnancy test before Luke did!), Luke had been on his usual Monday night training session, and when he walked through the door just before 10pm, he could see my sister and I sat at the breakfast bar leaning over a very faint pregnancy test!

Luke was in disbelief the longest, I started taking my folic acid as soon as I found out, and I booked my booking in appointment for the 17th December 2019. I knew that I would be required to give a urine sample so I sat there at the first of many appointments that require a full bladder (really needing a wee!). I was hoping that I would have the same midwife as back in June, and then she popped her head around the corner and called me into her office telling me how nice it was to see me back!

As Luke couldn't make the appointment I decided to take the notes I had from our miscarriage as all Luke's details were the same, so this allowed Louise to simply transfer them all over into fresh notes for a new pregnancy.

I got a little upset as we discussed what happened but she kept telling me that I was here to stay this time, that they were going to keep me. She took bloods and the urine sample and that wrapped up our booking in appointment. 

It was super quick because we already had all the information, which also meant I made it to school in time to pick Leo up!

That night I decided to take a photograph of my maternity notes (Don't ask me why, I have no idea). I climbed into the bath and sent what I thought was a funny meme to my family's group chat (I'm talking, Dad, Mum, Brothers x 2, Sister and all of their partners... Of course what I really sent was this photo of my pregnancy notes!

Guess what? I couldn't work out how to delete images on WhatsApp! Within a second my brother replied... I'll insert the screen grab of the conversation below.

Basically I announced my pregnancy by mistake to my whole family! 

Everyone but Leo of course...

Now we have seen the heartbeat, now we know that the baby is growing and healthy we decided to tell Leo on the 2nd Jan 2020.

We laid out the 'Best Bro' t-shirt that we had bought for him back in June (the t-shirt that he never wore, that has just been sat in a box) and placed the baby scan on top and called him into the kitchen. I asked him what he thought it was and he told me 'it's a baby' and he knew straight away. He asked me if it was another baby and I explained that yes it was and he was so happy. A massive smile on his face at the realisation that he was finally going to be a big brother in August 2020.

He couldn't believe how long we have all known though, he jokingly called me a dirty liar while giggling. 

The day after the scan and telling Leo, we all ventured over to Worcester to see what baby bargains could be had at Mothercare before they close their doors forever! It was a sad sight but we managed to get some wonderful bits!

The scan and actually buying some bits for baby has made it all seem so much more real.

I have a NHS Dating Scan on 16th January, I should be 10+2 at that point.

Let’s just hope this pregnancy continues to stay normal and uneventful.