Second Trimester: 21-22 Weeks Pregnant– A Quiet Few Weeks and a Very Special Walk

 The past couple of weeks have been beautifully quiet. No appointments, no hospital trips — just a stretch of calm, normality, and time to simply be pregnant. And honestly, it’s been really nice. When you’ve experienced pregnancy layered with worry, scans, and constant check-ins, a quiet few weeks can feel like a small gift.

At the end of 20 weeks, on Friday 18th July, I took on a walk that means a great deal to me — the Round Evesham Walk. It’s about 10km and loops around the town, through fields and quiet paths. I did this walk most days while I was pregnant with Louis — sometimes twice in a day. I even walked it while in labour. It had been a long time since I’d last done it, but I wanted to walk it again this year, around the time of Louis’s 5th birthday — now carrying his little brother.

There was something deeply emotional about doing it again, pregnant once more. As though the two of them were being introduced — brothers, five years apart, treading the same path. It kicked my bum, I’ll be honest. My dodgy knee flared up before I’d even hit halfway, and by the end I was completely wiped out. But it reminded me just how much strength I found while carrying Louis. I felt proud. I must have done that walk hundreds of times with him. It’s definitely encouraged me to get back into a walking routine again.

That weekend, as I turned 22 weeks, Graham and I escaped to our favourite place — Sennen Cove in Cornwall. We camped just outside the cove and slept on an air bed in our new tent. I wasn’t sure how well I’d cope with camping at five months pregnant, but surprisingly, I loved it. There’s something about the sea air, the simplicity of it all.

Around 21 weeks, I had one of those “quiet movement” days that catches you off guard. I kept checking in, wondering if he was just tucked into a corner. Thankfully, as the week went on, his movements picked up again. By 22 weeks, he’d found his rhythm. While camping in Cornwall, G felt a proper kick for the first time — a solid, undeniable thump from our boy.

Then on Tuesday 29th July, at 22+3, his big sister — my step daughter — got to feel him too. He’d been wild that day — the strongest kicks I’ve felt so far, and they were everywhere! Above my belly button, across my left side, and way down low too, putting real pressure on my lower abdomen. The day before, I’d had a strange pulling sensation on my left side — it reminded me of ovulation pain. I think it was just the way he was lying. Possibly transverse for a moment, though who knows with these little acrobats.

In between all the walking and kicking, I’ve been busy nesting — the thrifty way. I’ve found some absolute bargains on Vinted and Facebook Marketplace. So many of baby boy’s clothes are already sorted, and I’ve ticked off a big chunk of my essentials list — all for a fraction of the cost of buying brand new. I still need to get a baby wrap and carrier, the pushchair, and maybe a few 3.5 tog swaddle bags for winter, but honestly, I feel so prepared already. It’s such a different feeling this time around — not rushing, just steadily gathering and getting ready.

There’s still a long way to go, but these moments — sharing his kicks with the people who love him most, walking in Louis’s footsteps, falling asleep in a tent by the sea — they make everything feel a little more grounded, a little more real.

Here’s to the next few weeks — and a few more kicks to keep reminding me that he’s growing stronger every day.

The 12 Week Scan

 Our 12 Week Scan – A Milestone Full of Emotion

Twelve weeks rolled around faster than I ever expected. Between planning a wedding abroad, making multiple trips to TDR Bridal in Halesowen for dress fittings (sorry again to my brilliant seamstress — those perfectly timed alterations didn’t quite anticipate a growing bump!), and ensuring we had all the necessary legal documents sorted, time really did fly.

In fact, it flew so fast that I didn’t even realise how far along I was. I walked into our scan on the 19th May 20205 expecting to be 11 weeks pregnant — but to my surprise, the sonographer let us know I was already 12 weeks. Baby had been busy growing away in there, and they even brought our due date forward from the 8th December 2025 to the 29th November 2025. A whole nine days earlier! That small change somehow made it all feel even more real.

We arrived at Evesham Community Hospital, and Graham met me in the car park. Hand in hand, we walked in together. I thought I felt calm. I told myself I felt calm. And I really believed it — until we sat down in the waiting room.

Even as I lay back and Baby Carter flickered onto the screen, I told myself I was chill. But the truth is, these scans will never just be scans for me. They will always come wrapped in layers of fear, anticipation, and hope. I envy people who can walk into a scan room and see it simply as a glimpse into their growing baby — without the weight of past grief lingering in the background.

As our little one appeared on the screen, I immediately noticed how much he’d grown since our 8-week scan (I say hebecause I have the strongest feeling we’re having a boy!). He was wiggling around, completely oblivious to the big moment unfolding for us.

The sonographer started with all the usual checks and measurements, and while everything looked okay, the dread crept in as she moved up to the baby’s head. That’s when the nerves truly kicked in. I remember saying aloud, “This is the part I was worried about,” and Graham instinctively squeezed my hand tighter.

Even though he isn’t Louis’s dad, Graham was there with me through everything in 2020. He was my friend through the darkest days, and he gets it. He understands why these moments come with so much weight. As I lay there, I felt a single tear slide down my cheek. Silent, but full of emotion.

Then came the words I didn’t realise I’d been holding my breath for: “The nuchal translucency measurement is 1.7mm — completely normal.” I’d been watching, trying to read the screen, trying to interpret what I saw — but I’m no expert. Hearing those words out loud was like music. I was over the moon. So was Graham. He cried with me. After that, I could barely speak without dissolving into a blubbering mess — happy tears, but relentless all the same.

The sonographers knew my story with Louis and his Nuchal Translucancy, they were visibly moved. They reassured me that, from everything they could see, Baby Carter was growing exactly as they should be. Those words brought the kind of relief that can only be understood by someone who has known the opposite.

We left, still hand in hand, clutching our 12-week scan photos like the most precious treasure. To celebrate, we popped into town for some lunch — just the two of us, and our tiny, wriggling miracle.

This was our final scan before we were due to fly out to Santorini for a week, where we’d be getting married on Tuesday 27th May 2025. The next three weeks became our wedding bubble — and armed with the incredible news that our baby was healthy, we made the decision to share their impending arrival with our loved ones at the wedding. Which is exactly what we did.

You can read all about our wedding here — it was truly the most beautiful day.

Following the wedding, we flew back to London on the 30th May where we spent one last night soaking it all in before jetting straight off to San Francisco the very next day to begin our absolutely fabulous honeymoon. More on that very soon…

The Early Scan at Peek a Baby Bromsgrove - 6 Weeks Pregnant

On the 25th of March 2025—just nine weeks before our wedding day—I found out I was pregnant.

I can still feel the rush of emotions from that moment. The second those two pink lines appeared, everything paused. For a split second, it was just me, the test, and the memory of what a positive pregnancy test truly means... and what it doesn’t always mean.

Graham was over the moon. His joy was instant and unshakable. But for me? I was cautious. I've learned the hard way that a positive doesn’t always promise a happy ending. The ache of Louis’s pregnancy and the heart-wrenching goodbye we were forced to say still lives close to the surface. His presence, his strength, his loss—it’s all shaped how I now navigate pregnancy.

But despite everything, I stayed calm.

There was a quiet sense of trust this time. My anxiety, surprisingly, held back. I chose to believe that peace was possible, and I summoned all the positive, healthy energy I could to our tiny, growing baby. Our baby. Baby Carter.

Even before I told Graham the news, I had already called the doctors. That will make him laugh when he reads this, I’m sure! Things had changed slightly since Louis’s pregnancy—there was now a self-referral system for midwife care. I filled in the form, and before long my first appointment was confirmed.

I estimated our due date to be the 8th of December 2025, although based on my last cycle, late November was also a possibility.

My first midwife appointment came on the 7th of April. I had a spring cold, my voice was barely there, and Graham sadly couldn’t make it due to a big work meeting. He was gutted, but I promised to call him so he wouldn’t miss out on any of the important health questions—it’s our first baby together.

At the appointment, I gave a urine sample, had my bloods taken, and did a carbon monoxide test. I blew a 1—likely from car pollution, they said. I was also introduced to the new Badger Notes app, which has now replaced the paper maternity notes. I must admit, it felt strange not carrying that little folder around!

In those first few weeks, I managed to hold off booking a private scan. But eventually, the curiosity and need for reassurance got the better of me. I told Graham, “I need to know what’s going on inside of me.” And so, I booked an early scan at Peek a Baby in Bromsgrove for Saturday 19th April 2025.

I didn’t realise until we pulled up outside—but I’d been there before. It was the same place we’d had Louis’s gender scan. The one where we were told he was very poorly. That moment hit me like a wave. Familiar building. Familiar fear.

I’d been guzzling water all morning, absolutely bursting for the loo. The sonographer was running late and told me to “let a bit out—count to ten then stop.” I think I did that about three times! The nerves were properly setting in now. Up until this moment, I had felt relatively calm. But this... scans are where things had always gone wrong before.

When we were finally called in, I lay down, they applied the gel, and the Doppler met my stomach. Instantly, a gestational sac appeared. For a terrifying moment, it looked empty. My heart dropped. Please not another missed miscarriage.

Then, there it was—a fetal pole... and the tiniest flicker of a 6-week-old heartbeat. A real, strong beat. Our baby. A brand new little life.

Graham’s eyes welled. Mine did too. There in front of us was our creation. The little person we had made together. A baby that would be coming to our wedding, and even tagging along on our honeymoon.

It felt real now. We left Peek a Baby beaming—me in awe, Graham already besotted. I was pregnant. We were having a baby. And this time, we allowed ourselves to start believing... I knew I was a way off being convinced yet, but it was a start.

The pregnancy fatigue had really kicked in early, I would say right from thye first positive test. My chest has been sore (and surprisingly warm to the touch!), and naps have become a regular part of my day. I’m sleeping whenever I can, surrendering to the changes my body is going through.

I still have my moments. Quiet fears that creep in. But mostly, I’m choosing hope.

Hope for what’s to come.

Hope for a healthy little Carter.

Hope for a love story that continues—with a new chapter on the way.

A Kind Message from Worcester

Then, on 22nd April, I received a text that truly touched me. It was from the bereavement team at Worcester Hospital. They had seen my name on the system and kindly reached out to offer support, knowing that pregnancy after loss can bring its own quiet storm of emotions.

They offered me an early reassurance scan over at the hospital on Monday 28th April, and of course, I gladly accepted. I needed to know that our baby was growing and that heartbeat was still strong.

Graham met me from work, and together we returned to the Early Pregnancy Unit—a place I knew all too well. It was in that very unit that, back in July 2019, I had been told I was suffering a missed miscarriage.

But this time, it was different.

Our little splodge popped up on the screen, measuring 8 weeks gestation, and everything looked perfect for their age. The sonographer was happy. We were happy. Our hearts, for a moment, felt light again.

Looking Ahead

Our official 12-week scan was originally booked for 8th May at Evesham Community Hospital, but based on my dates and previous scans, I knew I would only be around 9 weeks at that point.

I really wanted to make sure we had the nuchal translucency measurements done within the proper window of 11–14 weeks, so we had the scan rearranged for Monday 19th May.

Just days before we were due to fly to Santorini for our big day... and then head straight on to America for our honeymoon road trip adventure across the States!

25 weeks pregnant

25 weeks was a milestone week for Nugget's movements, just like they were with Leo. Up until this week I had to be lay down in order to feel him moving around. I found that at 25+3 I could feel him moving when I was sitting up, and a a day or so later even when I was standing!

 There was one moment where baby boy kicked so hard into my belly button that I actually jumped, and I have even felt movemnts as high up as my belly button. This is the highest movement I have experienced so far.

When I woke up one morning this week I became aware that I could feel Nugget all down my right hand side, almost like he had turned and was now lenthways down my side opposed to laying across my lower tummy beneath my belly button.

It's been so nice having so much movement from him, reassuring me that he is doing ok in there despite everything that is going on. 

This week there were again no appointmnets, we have our next scan next week to see how baby boy is getting on. I have accepted that the fluid around him probably wont magically materialise, and I have accepted that these appointments will never be filled with the words that mean a miracle has happened. 

These appointments are always going to be about preparing me for the worst case scenario, they are always going to be about preparing me for the death of my unborn baby. I have made the decision that I will set mini goals for these appointmnets and if he reaches those markers I will be happy. 

All I really want is for him to keep on growing, putting on size and surviving. For this next scan I would love for him to hit the 1lb mark, and just know that his heart continues to beat strongly. I know that the fluid is gone for a reason... what that reason is no body can tell me, but it is gone. 

Keeping the hope alive has become so important to me, I don't think I could keep going if I was certain he woulnd't make it at the end. I have read so many stories where the outcome looked so bleak, but the babies pulled through in the end. 

I know that whatever happens my little guy is going to have to keep fighting even after the pregnancy, we know he has the heart condition Tetralogy of Fallot, but there could be other factors we need to consider should he defy all the odds and make it into this world. 

One thing that I have been unsually happy about is this, regardless of what happens now. No matter what happens. My baby boy get's a birth certificate, he's a real little person and whether or not I get to bring him home or not... He existed, he has a name and he matters.

My bump is looking rounder this week, more like a baby bump and less like chub. I would love for my tummy to fully pop and to actually look pregnant like I did with Leo. Due to the low fluid and growing a small baby, I am not suffering with back ache or having trouble getting to sleep each night. 

In a weird way it is another aspect of being pregnant that I have been robbed of.

 

I have found speaking out about what is going on in my pregancy refreshing. Back in February we announced that we were expecting, and instead of having to have individual conversations with people about the turn the pregnancy was actually taking, I decided to be quite vocal in what was happening. 

I have done this on my blog and on my personal social media, it has meant that I can update everyone in one go. I don't need to have one to one chat's with everyone I know and get emotional, I can think about what I want to say and how I want to say it before I put it out there.

People have been incredibly supportive, some have even gone as far as saying how brave it is. I don't consider it brave, if anything it's a way of addressing everyone in one go to spare myself. At the same time though I have been able to reach ladies who are going through a similar journey, and we have been able to guide each other on this journey into the unknown. 

I have been caught off guard a few times where people have congratulated me, and I have looked blankly at them wondering what the kind regards are for... then I realise they are congratulating my pregnancy. I should just say thank you, but I can't help but look at them with confused eyes.

It's another week under the belt, another day closer to the 26 week scan that I was told we may not make... But I have high hopes that we will!

 

19 Weeks Pregnant: Low Amniotic Fluid

 I completely neglected to do a pregnancy update last week, and I have to admit that it was because it was such a hectic week. Luke had been away to Italy skiing - I say skiing.. He got 1 day in after they arrived before the resort closed and they were popped onto emergency flights back to the UK. Of course at that point all of Italy was under self isolation measures.. So I had to pack a suitcase and get out before he arrived back so that Leo and I didn't have to self isolate too...

It was not fun sofa hopping and not being able to get comfortable. In fact I slept on a very old mattress one of the nights and suddenly in the middle of the night I began to suffer from Vertigo. I haven't had Vertigo in 2 years, and I can't say I enjoyed it. The following day (Wednesday) was my first day back at work, since we returned from Venice last month (Just as Covid 19 was taking hold...) I had to stay away from work just in case. At that point there wasn't any advice to self isolate, and Leo was welcomed back to school.

This all changed the day of my Amniocentisis when I got a call at school telling me that even though a fortnight had passed since our return... Leo had to stay away from school. None of us had any symptoms so the thought of that just seemed crazy. Leo ended up coming with us to Birmingham, and what a superstar he was. He was in the room while the Amniocentisis was performed and it didn't phase him one bit.

This was the Monday, and I had until the Wednesday before I was due back at work. Of course it was on the Tuesday that my Vertigo appeard, so on my first day back in the office (with Leo in tow) I found myself throwing up in the toilets! I am pleased to report that this has now eased off now, and you may have seen that we have had our first set of Amniocentisis results in!
 
I’ve spent the back end of my 18th week of pregnancy drinking water and coconut water like a lady possessed. I did ask the nurses at my echocardiogram scan if there was anything I could do to maybe increase the production of amniotic fluid, and they said there wasn’t anything I could do.

I had a little google and keeping super hydrated can help in some cases to produce more amniotic fluid. I have been drinking lots of water and added coconut water into my daily drinking regime to try and see if it can make any difference.

At the end of the day it can’t hurt. 

I haven’t felt baby moving at all, or at least I don’t think I have... but that could be down to the low amniotic fluid. It would be amazing to see if I can increase this at all by Thursday; which will be my 20 week scan (a week early) - I’m half dreading it, because I already know what they will or will not see... but at the same time I want to see if the fluid levels have increased. 

There have been a few mornings since 18 weeks where I have woken up and the right side of my stomach is really hard. I can push down and I can feel something, but I don’t know what it is... I did it once and that something did move, but I’m not convinced it’s baby., but at the same time I am not sure what else it could have been? At 19 weeks baby is still super duper low down, which I am told can be normal.

I really thought that by this stage of pregnancy I would be able to get really excited, but unfortunately that is not the case. I am pregnant, there is a heartbeat... but there is so much doubt over how this will all end. I find myself checking Nugget's heartbeat multiple times a day just to hear the reassuring beat of his little heart.

We know we’re growing a boy (I say growing because I can’t bring myself to say having, because having means bringing home and keeping), I can’t look at baby clothes, I can’t get all of Leo’s clothes out of the loft ready to sort through and wash. I can’t buy anything like the bedside crib, in many ways I don’t actually feel pregnant.

I feel like I’ve been robbed of many of the things pregnant ladies take for granted in a healthy pregnancy, I didn’t get to do our gender reveal, I haven’t been able to excitedly shop and I haven’t been able to glow when people congratulate me on our newest addition.

This week I was caught off guard as I discussed the current Corona Virus situation at the school gate when another Mum innocently said 'I don't mean to be rude... But are you expecting'. It should have been so simple to answer, but instead of saying 'Yes' straight away, I wasn't really sure what to say. I am pregnant, but whether there will be a baby at the end of it all... I cannot say.

I’m staying positive and taking each day as it comes, I’m sitting around and resting more, drinking more and hoping that this helps. 

Right now I feel that the best case scenario out of all this will be delivering a premature baby, and then allowing the medical professionals to do their very best. I don’t think we would really know what we are dealing with until birth as these scans don’t really provide a comprehensive view.

I’m trying to have blind faith that we get our boy at the end of all this. That we get to tell our tale, with a happy ending that goes against all the odds. 

Through it all though I just feel like I have to keep holding on and fighting for this little life. People say I’m brave and strong, but I am just doing what I feel is best, and sometimes even that is guess work.

It is hard to keep the flame of hope alive when every appointment brings more bad news, but while baby is growing and his heart is still beating... I will continue to fight for him.

Today is Wednesday, and as of today we are in self isolation to shield ourselves from the crazy outside world and Covid 19. Work have been amazing and sought advice from HR, the instruction is that I go home and self isolate for 12 weeks. Before I left work I managed to almost cry twice, anyone would think I had lost my job. I am just super lucky to work for such a good team of people, so I will be using the time to stay at home, rest and of course home school Leo.

Due to my need to self isolate now, Leo is off school before the official closure on Friday, I had to go and pick him up early and ended up crying at the head teacher and SEN teacher due to all of the worries surrounding the pregnancy, and I guess feeling emotional about leaving work for a potential 3 months. The crazy thing is so much can happen in 12 weeks, It will be June, I could be 31 weeks pregnant by then.... I could have had the baby by then?

I could have lost my baby by then....

Self  isolation is the current plan, and that is what I am doing. I can't help feeling like a fraud, I am pregnant right now... But who knows what the next 12 weeks will bring? What we will find out? What decisions I will have to make?

 Thursday is my equivelant to a 20 week scan, I will be 19+5 and I think I am more nervous for this particular scan than I am about the Fetal Medicine appointments. The difference is at this appointment they will expect to see your typical baby, completely healthy. I don't know what we will see tomorrow....

Fetal Medicine called at 19:30 this evening and when I answered I was shaking head to foot. The full array result is not expected until at least Monday, but seeing that No Caller ID flashing on the screen set my heard racing. It was Sarah the Fetal Medicine Midwife, she's been speaking to the consultants to try and get me seen again as there was nothing booked in. I am really thankful for this, especially with everything that is going on right now, so I should hopefully have a more detailed echocardiogram scan next Tuesday 24th March - Back to Birmingham we go!

Week 19 has been a long update, if you have made it this far thank you.

Hopefully I will have more (happy, positive) news tomorrow.

But for now it is more waiting in this already uncertain pregnany.

18 Weeks Pregnant: Echocardiogram & First Amniocentisis Results

It’s Thursday and it has now been 4 days since my Amniocentisis procedure, I haven’t been waiting for them so anxiously like I did the NIPT Harmony results, it almost feels like this will solidify my next step. Confirm that this baby is not going to be with us for the next stage of our journey.... it’s a horrible thought but somewhere between the scan at Worcester at 17 weeks and the Amniocentisis itself... I have accepted and prepared myself for the most likely next step. 

My brother very kindly offered to take me to the echocardiogram scan at Birmingham Women’s Hospital. Luke has been away (You can always count on everything happening when you are on your own) and I just don’t feel comfortable driving to the hospital, especially since it is almost always bad news in some way shape or form. I finished work at 12pm and dropped Leo with my brother, then we hopped in the car and made our way to the city.

Just as I was directing my brother towards the Women’s Hospital, my phone rang and interrupted the sat nav. It was an unknown number and I knew straight away who it was, it was bound to be the hospital with my results. 

The lady Introduced herself and she was indeed from the Women’s Hospital, and she did have the first set of results from my Amniocentisis. She asked me if I wanted them now or at the appointment, part of me wanted to be put out of my misery and just know, but the other half said to wait as my poor brother needed me to direct.

I told her I would wait and find out at my appointment, suddenly I felt nervous. I was going to find out very soon whether baby did have Trisomy 18 - Edwards Syndrome or whether we had cleared this first milestone. 

We sat and waited, the appointment time came and went and I was feeling anxious. Eventually we were called in and the first thing I said was 'I hear my first set of results are in'. The two midwives confirmed that this was the case and one of them left the room to collect the report. Somehow I managed to get the news from the second midwife before the first even entered the room again.

The first set of results told me that baby was clear for Trisomy 13, Trisomy 18 and Trisomy 21.

Our baby did not have Edwards Syndome! 

Our BABY BOY did not have Edwards Syndrome!

After asking about the findings on this result, my next question was of course was I carrying a baby boy or baby girl, since my gender scan at 16 weeks was hardly confirmation.

It felt like a small victory in a battle that was yet to happen let alone be won, but it was a victory all the same. Suddenly the flame of hope burned again and filled the dark room that had been engulfed when that flame of hope had been so viciously extinguished.

I don’t think I can explain how nice it is to have hope in all this, that there could somehow through all the tears and uncertainty be a happy ending. When that hope was completely taken away with a potential prognosis, it really did feel like the fight was over.

Now here we were, another appointment but for the first time in 10 weeks, we knew for sure that our baby didn’t have one of the 3 trisomies. There could still be something uncovered in the full array result, but for now this win needed to be marked.

I lay on the table and the cardio midwives got to work, of course due to the baby's position and the low amniotic fluid, it meant that not a lot could be observed in great detail. 

The scan should have lasted 45 minutes, but baby boy was just not in a position to have his heart looked at in anymore real detail today. He’s measuring smaller and they said the optimum time to look at the fetal heart was around 21 weeks, but with baby being smaller that might be later on with us. 

They confirmed that the 4 chambers of the heart were there, that it was deviated to the left and they could see one outflow, but we left with no more real knowledge on baby boys heart. 

They were surprised that no further appointments had been booked for us, but with Dr Kirby’s thoughts on Trisomy 18, he must have thought it was the end of the road for us too…

The next step in the plan is to wait for the full array to come back, this can take up to 2 weeks. It would show if baby had any other chromosome abnormalities that the Amnio tests for. Even if that came back clear... there could still be something that they don’t test for, and chromsome abnormalities apart the ultrasound markers alone present their own set of challenges.

I brought up Noonans and asked if this would be a possibility to test for if the next Amnio result came back clear, they advised that if the consultant thought we fit the criteria then yes they would test. 

I think the midwives took pitty on me, as when they handed me the report they also gave me 2 scan images. Not that you can see a lot at all... I can see that it's the side profile of baby's head, but I can also see just how low the amniotic fluid is around him.

I did ask if there is anything I can do in order to maybe produce more fluid, but they said there was nothing. I've really upped my water levels and I am hopng that when we go for the next scan on the 19th March (which should be my 20 week scan... but this will be at 19+5).

Once the full array is back they will get us back in, we will need to see the consultants for another echocardiogram to see if they can look at the heart in more detail…

So we’re back in limbo with no real idea what is going on, will we have a baby or won’t we? No one can actually tell me because no one actually knows.

But we do know I’m growing a baby boy.

We do know that we will continue to fight for our baby boy and hope for the best possible outcome.

Right now though I’m trying to make do with the clothes that I have, I see no sense in buying lots of maternity clothes that I may not need. Right now we aren’t buying any baby bits because the unknown is just that, we just don’t know if we get to have our baby at the end of all this.

Surprise! We’re Having our Rainbow Baby!

We have been keeping a little secret for the last 15 weeks, we will be welcoming our second baby into the world in August!

I am due around my birthday which is just completely lovely, I turn 31 on August 8th and baby is due the following day on August 9th.

It’s not been the easiest 15 weeks, we had some health concerns for the baby that means following a 10 week scan we were referred to Birmingham Fetal Medicine for additional scans and tests. I won’t go into that on this post, but I have of course been blogging behind the scenes so I can share our story with you now, following this happy post, a post I have been waiting to share when I know everything is ok.

Thankfully we have been given the green light and everything is looking good with our little rainbow, which is the best outcome I didn’t dare dream 5 weeks ago. 

We are currently in New York City, and we decided it would be here that we announce the impending arrival of our second, and much wanted baby.

Nugget is arriving August 2020 and we are so excited, and it’s so nice to see Leo so happy about being a big brother. 

FINALLY! 

13 Weeks Pregnant & Harmony Test Results (NIPT)

13 weeks pregnant. 

The second trimester.

This time seems to have gone as slowly as it has quickly.

I seem to spend my time waiting for the next baby appointment to roll around. This week is the first week in 3 weeks that I haven’t had some form of scan or assessment, and I am missing the reassuring words that followed last weeks scan.

I have been driving myself banana's this week, worrying that the baby’s heart will have stopped beating. This is and has been my top anxiety even before the high Nuchal Translucency (NT) reading.

 This was only heightened after that of course... Nothing quite jolts you like being told your at higher risk of miscarriage now.

With each scan though I have been reassured to hear and see our baby’s strong heart beating, pumping away helping our baby grow. But from our last scan until we get back from New York at the end of February, there will be no more scans and no more assessments.

Deep down I know baby is ok and I’m being a worry wart for nothing. I keep telling myself after the next scan ‘I’ll relax and enjoy my pregnancy’, but after the initial reassurance of each scan I have had, the potential doubt enters my mind and it’s hard to shake.

If anything the extra scans haven’t helped my anxiety, I’ve become almost reliant on them. It’s like at this stage in my pregnancy I need them to let me know that Nugget is doing ok, but any reassurance I gain from the scan is short lived, and a few days later the cycle begins again.

Obviously that is far from ideal, and a scan each and every week is not going to be happening.... but I think I will get in touch with my midwife and see if she can run the doppler over my stomach to hear baby’s heartbeat before we fly to New York.

Just for peace of mind of course.

It is Thursday today - 10 days since I had my blood taken for the Harmony (NIPT) test, I’ve stayed pretty relaxed about receiving the results. I felt like I knew they would come back low risk, and today I finally got a call from the hospital. 

The midwife introduced herself and sounded like she had good news to tell me, you can just tell by the tone of people’s voices. Straight away she said ‘It’s good news!’ And then proceeded to tell me that I had received a LOW RISK for the 3 Trisomies! That means that Down Syndrome, Edwards Syndrome and Patel Syndrome were less likely to be present in our baby!

The best news! I couldn’t stop grinning from ear to ear. I was at work when I took the call and the lady I work with shared in my happy news.

With the outcome I had hoped for under my belt, I text Luke, my family and Nicky (the lovely sonogropher who has been a god send to me these last few weeks) to let everyone know. 

After that, we announced my pregnancy to the director. So now I have informed work that I will be having a baby in August!

God it feels so good to actually say that.

It’s all starting to feel so much more real now, and tonight I pulled the doppler back out of the cupboard I had thrown it (I couldn’t find the heartbeat so hid it away to stop myself going mad), and I lay down on the bed to see if I could locate the boom, boom, boom of Nugget’s heart.

Below my belly button and just above my pubic bone, and slightly to the right.... there baby was. A beautiful strong and super fast swoosh, swoosh, swoosh. I lay there just listening and smiling feeling so so lucky.

I don’t take this pregnancy forgranted, everyday I’m feeling so lucky to be able to bring this life into the world. I’m feeling so excited now, and this outcome is better than I could have dared dream. 

I have started the process of booking my gender scan for Saturday 29th February. That is the next time I will see baby. I have decided that it would be nice to head back to Babyface4D where I had my early scan at 8 weeks. 

They are really competitively priced and even throw in the 3D prints all for £49, which is a complete steal. The other deal I was looking at an alternative company that would have cost £80, and would have been extra for 3D scan and images...

I’ve ordered a gender reveal balloon so that we can make it fun for Leo. It worked out cheaper to find the balloon on EBay... The plan is not to find out at the actual scan, but just to enjoy watching baby on the screen and then getting them to write down whether we are having a boy or a girl on a card. I will then take this card to the balloon shop and get them to inflate the balloon as per the instructions on the card.

Then when Luke finishes work we can all get together as a family (a big family that is, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and their partners!) and find out a little more about who the next member of this mad clan will be.

Week 13 has sharped into a really good week, we have more certainty over Nugget, and I think Luke is finally feeling relieved and able to get excited. The Harmony results are exactly what we hoped for, we have New York in just over a week, and we can finally tell the world that we are HAVING A BABY!

I’ll be happier once I can feel movement properly, there have been a few instances this week where I have wondered if it’s baby... but the jury is still out and I’m not sold. Hopefully in the next few weeks I will be able to feel them wiggling and jiggling.

I haven’t had any round ligament pain since the first fetal medicine appointment, I can’t really remember when it started with Leo. Or maybe you don’t feel it as much in subsequent pregnancies? 

I do feel like I’m starting to get a little teeny bump, I’m definitely not as flat as I was before falling pregnant (but then I’ve been eating what I want and not exercising... so it could just be that catching me up!)

On a final note for week 13, I have recieved my 20 week scan appointmnet now *insert woop woop* - It's the week after my echo cardiogram at Birmingham Fetal Medicine, and I will be 19+5 weeks pregnant.

Hopefully both of these scans will bring even more positive news, and following our gender scan in a few weeks, will take our scan toll to 9 already in this pregnancy (and that is even before I round it up to a neat 10 with a 3D scan at 26 weeks!).

For now though, all is well and we have come such a long way in the 4 weeks following our 10 week scan. 

We're Pregnant After a Miscarriage

I really didn't think that I would be writing this post so soon, or ever actually. Somehow, some kind of Christmas magic or by a crazy twist of fate... 

I am pregnant... Again.

I am pregnant for the second time in 2019, pregnant again following my miscarriage back in July.

I am pregnant.

It's been less than 4 months since I lost our second baby, and here I am with the faintest little line on a pregnancy test. A glimmer of hope in the dark tunnel that I have been sliding along since our baby left.

 I really did not think that November was going to be our month, and to be honest we weren't even trying. In fact we weren't trying so much so.... That we didn't even do the deed throughout my fertile window (Or at least I didn't think it would have counted).

This truly is a miracle conception, as those little swimmers were laying around waiting at least 4-5 days before an egg came into the equation. But those two little lines do not lie. 

I have felt my ovulation pains more since the miscarriage, and that night of the 15th November they were really painful, I knew exactly what it was and dosed up with paracetamol. 

I have been testing every month since the miscarriage happened, It's a little addiction and I am always expecting it to come back negative, and they always do... Or they did...

I did the test and hopped into the bath for a soak after a busy Monday at work. I stayed in there 20 minutes or so without really giving the test a second thought, because I was certain it would be negative. Heck I didn't even know why I was doing a test, but I got out and went to have a look...

I held the test up to the light certain that there was a second line. Confused, but certain. I moved out into the next rooms light, there was a line, the faintest line I have ever seen on a test before. I was only 10 days post ovulation at this point so really I wasn't due to test until at least November 30th (when my period was due). 

I swear by the One Step Internet Cheapies, they have not steered me wrong yet, and they produced a very faint line 5 days before my period was due. It was so faint that I was convinced I had line eyes. I took a photo and decided to send it to my sister, who was certain that she too could see the second line. 

I sent it to Luke and was met with '****', as we hadn't been trying this was a shock for both of us after what happened in July. I should still be pregnant with our little Pop, but my body had obviously decided to throw us into a whole new pregnancy.

I am so ready for this, it feels like a second chance. Right now it feels like I am stepping on egg shells, and I am really making sure to take care of my self. I have cut caffeine all together, stopped exercising (apart from dog walks) and just giving into the overwhelming tiredness that hits in the early evenings.  

It's been a week since I found out now, and I have watched the test line get darker each day (even though I know this means nothing in the long run), I have had it confirmed on a First Response and a Clear Blue Digital, I am currently about 2 weeks since conception.

I don't know how this is going to pan out, I don't know if I am going to get to hold my baby at the end of this pregnancy, all I know is, I need to stay positive and keep taking it a day at a time. 

What will be will be, but I would love this pregnancy to work out so much. 

I am not telling family this early on, Leo won't know until we know everything is OK this time around. I can't get him all excited again and then break his heart again. He would love to be a big brother so much, I truly do hope that this time I can make him one. 

First Trimester - 6 Weeks Pregnancy Update

At 6 weeks baby is the size of a Chocolate Chip

This week has been so long, I have been waiting for my NHS scan to roll around after all of the worry caused by the early scan. I remember the first trimester feeling long with Leo, but it in no way compares to just how long this pregnancy has felt so far.

I always thought finding out early was a real blessing, but as it turns out finding out so early is probably the reason I put myself through a private early scan in the first place.

Finding out early has meant I have put myself through in-necessary worry and panic when I should have been trusting my body to do the right thing. After all, there were no complications with Leo, not one. He was a textbook pregnancy and I have to believe that this is the case again.

When I look back at this pregnancy (hopefully in 9 months time while cradling my little bundle), I hope that I realise that I spent so much time worrying for no reason. The one good thing about finding out early and my dates not being exact, is that I have seen Pop develop completely. I have seen Pop as just a gestational sac, I have seen Pop with a tiny fetal pole, and next week I will hopefully see the heartbeat. 

I still have my private scan coming up on August 1st. I pushed it back as I wanted the all clear from the NHS and my midwife first (for some reason I have no trust in Peek-a-Baby... I cannot imagine why!), so that means Leo will get to see his little brother or sister for the first time.

I am hoping that we will walk away with all of the scan images that were captured, it would make a nice little addition to Pop's memory box. 

Then of course we will have the 12 week scan (Towards the end of August, after I turn the big 30!)

How am I feeling? 

My symptoms are coming and going, I thought I was imagining it but one day my boobs are really sore and the next they feel more normal again. 

I’m assured that this is perfectly normal, but it’s a massive contrast to how I was with Leo. With my first pregnancy it felt like I could have slept for 100 years and still been tired when I woke up! 

I genuinely think that if I hadn’t had a positive pregnancy test (or 50....) I wouldn’t for a second think I was pregnant. Yes I have symptoms but they aren’t the kind that would make me suddenly think ‘ahhh I might be pregnant!’.

When the end of the day rolls around I am ready to close my eyes for a well deserved sleep, but this week I have been struggling to drift off (ironic much!) and I have woken multiple times in the night too. Rumour has it that along with pregnancy fatigue there is this marvellous wonder called pregnancy insomnia! 

And yes it is very much real!

I’ve spent the evening yearning for my bed, only to get there and not sleep. There was one night this week that I felt like I didn’t actually go to sleep, but I must have had a little shut eye.

Food wise I feel like I may be coming out of the other side, I’ve been eating a very rubbish diet of late but I am hoping to turn this around sooner rather than later.

Dating Scan

I had my NHS Dating Scan on Thursday, it looks as if I am due in March as opposed to my first thought of February (which means Leo’s t-shirt was wrong).

I saw a fetal pole (as you will know if you have read the post all about how this scan went), but due to the fact we didn’t observe the heartbeat I need to go back on Thursday (I should be 7+6 then) and it will most likely result in an internal scan.

They say that this early on internals are the best way to get the detail you need, but as I said at the start of this post, if I hadn’t found out so early on, I do think that a lot of this panic and worry could have been avoided.

We just have to hope now that little Pop has a heartbeat to be seen next week, I’m really optimistic but I just want to know once and for all now.

Announcing My Pregnancy at Work

Yup! As the headline states... I announced my pregnancy to my boss this week. Completely unintentionally and in typical Laura style, very irrationally and you could even go as far as saying hysterical! Yup crazy hormonal pregnant lady... coming right at you!

It was all a bit spur of the moment, one minute I am lay on the scanning table at the hospital. The next I am being told I need an emergency viability scan, within the next moment I am dialing my boss... And then the words leave my mouth faster than I can spit them out.

I was pondering the thought of how I was going to tell people, so maybe ripping the bandaid off was the best thing to do, little to no thought went into it, but at least it's out in the open now. I can fill everyone else in once I get the all clear (hopefully on Thursday!).

Here’s a little overview of 6 weeks pregnant..

It's been a battle of love and hate with sleep this week, some nights it comes easy, and others this pregnancy insomnia likes to keep me awake over analysing every twinge and keep sleep at a distance. 

Symptoms:

Achey boobs, fatigue, ill peeing multiple times, baby brain is in full swing (I think this is just who I am these days!) My boobs have gone really veiny now!

Bump:

No bump to report yet, just that of the food baby I have been lovingly crafting!

Exercise:

Exercise is something that I am building up to, It has been a few weeks now (who am I kidding? It's easily a month!), but I do want to build it back up and get a routine back in place.