We're Pregnant After a Miscarriage

I really didn't think that I would be writing this post so soon, or ever actually. Somehow, some kind of Christmas magic or by a crazy twist of fate... 

I am pregnant... Again.

I am pregnant for the second time in 2019, pregnant again following my miscarriage back in July.

I am pregnant.

It's been less than 4 months since I lost our second baby, and here I am with the faintest little line on a pregnancy test. A glimmer of hope in the dark tunnel that I have been sliding along since our baby left.

 I really did not think that November was going to be our month, and to be honest we weren't even trying. In fact we weren't trying so much so.... That we didn't even do the deed throughout my fertile window (Or at least I didn't think it would have counted).

This truly is a miracle conception, as those little swimmers were laying around waiting at least 4-5 days before an egg came into the equation. But those two little lines do not lie. 

I have felt my ovulation pains more since the miscarriage, and that night of the 15th November they were really painful, I knew exactly what it was and dosed up with paracetamol. 

I have been testing every month since the miscarriage happened, It's a little addiction and I am always expecting it to come back negative, and they always do... Or they did...

I did the test and hopped into the bath for a soak after a busy Monday at work. I stayed in there 20 minutes or so without really giving the test a second thought, because I was certain it would be negative. Heck I didn't even know why I was doing a test, but I got out and went to have a look...

I held the test up to the light certain that there was a second line. Confused, but certain. I moved out into the next rooms light, there was a line, the faintest line I have ever seen on a test before. I was only 10 days post ovulation at this point so really I wasn't due to test until at least November 30th (when my period was due). 

I swear by the One Step Internet Cheapies, they have not steered me wrong yet, and they produced a very faint line 5 days before my period was due. It was so faint that I was convinced I had line eyes. I took a photo and decided to send it to my sister, who was certain that she too could see the second line. 

I sent it to Luke and was met with '****', as we hadn't been trying this was a shock for both of us after what happened in July. I should still be pregnant with our little Pop, but my body had obviously decided to throw us into a whole new pregnancy.

I am so ready for this, it feels like a second chance. Right now it feels like I am stepping on egg shells, and I am really making sure to take care of my self. I have cut caffeine all together, stopped exercising (apart from dog walks) and just giving into the overwhelming tiredness that hits in the early evenings.  

It's been a week since I found out now, and I have watched the test line get darker each day (even though I know this means nothing in the long run), I have had it confirmed on a First Response and a Clear Blue Digital, I am currently about 2 weeks since conception.

I don't know how this is going to pan out, I don't know if I am going to get to hold my baby at the end of this pregnancy, all I know is, I need to stay positive and keep taking it a day at a time. 

What will be will be, but I would love this pregnancy to work out so much. 

I am not telling family this early on, Leo won't know until we know everything is OK this time around. I can't get him all excited again and then break his heart again. He would love to be a big brother so much, I truly do hope that this time I can make him one.