14 Weeks Pregnant

The day I turned 14 weeks pregnant I had the most real, most awful dream. 

It was so vivid that it felt like it was really happening. I was standing with Luke, I don’t know where we were, but he was on the phone. I was 14 weeks pregnant and I felt the baby moving and wiggling really low down. 

So low down that it felt like the baby was falling out.

The next thing I know the baby has wiggled out and is lay in my hands. Our baby was a little girl and was still very much alive, her face was moving and her little mouth was opening and closing, her eyes closed tight. I held her as she took her last little gasps before she left this world.

Then dream Laura became hysterical. 

I felt like this dream lasted forever, and I can still see the little details and features on her tiny little face as she lay in my hand.

I can’t get the image out of my head.

I’m writing this just after waking up, and I’m just so glad that it was all a big horrible dream.

Of course the first thing I did, after calming down of course and convincing myself that it hadn't really happened... Was have a play with the doppler. I know this isn't meant to be for reassurance, I know that people advise against it, but now I am pretty confident in finding baby's heartbeat (eventually) and have a round about idea where baby will be, I just can't help it.

Hearing the beat of Nugget's heart is just incredible and I don't think that it will ever get old. 

Thankfully since this not so pleasant dream on Saturday night, I haven't had anymore like this. Aren't pregnancy dreams just something else? Following this dream though, I can't help thinking that we have a baby girl growing away in there!

We won't officially know until Saturday 29th Feb, but before that we have a lot going on what with our looming trip to New York, London and then Venice for good measure!

At 14 weeks my boobs still hurt, and I am getting some shooting pains through them from time to time, I have been continuing to nap more, and often find myself in front of Netflix having missed almsot entire episodes just to how easy sleep appartently descends on me these days!

I am at that awkward in between stage with clothes and have been living in my gym leggings. I did try my pre-pregnancy jeans on the other week and although they did up, they were far from comfortable!

I have been sent some really lovely Maternity Leggings from Love Leggings, I ordered a pair of Grey Marl in size 8 which is my usual size, they fit beautifully on my legs and bum but I still have lots of room in the bump to fill right now. I wore them for the first time yesterday and they were so comfortable, it was like wearing PJ bottoms.

I love how stretchy the fabric is and how they stretch up over your bump to offer support like a warm hug. I will be packing these for my trip to New York and expect that I will be wearing them for all the travelling as they are going to be the most comfortable option for me.

I'll update how I get on with the leggings as my bump continues to grow (and of course share plenty of bump photos, because it's not everyday you have a bump!) - I also have a pair of their new Maternity Tights to try, I believe these aren't for sale just yet, so I will keep you posted with this too!

I was pondering what I will be packing to take with me this coming Sunday, and everything I am considering boasts the 'comfortable' factor. I will be leaving my pretty dresses at home and thinking sensibly for once!

Tuesday 11th February would have been my due date with the baby I lost back in July. I felt ok in regards to this, but had a day of complete anxiety in regards to my current pregnancy. I convinced myself that I was going to suffer an incompetent cervix and that the dream I had earlier in the week might actually just come true...

I manged to gain some clarity and calm myself down. That night as I was sorting washing I looked over at Luke and chuckled. He asked me what was funny, and I suddenly saw the funny side of how dramatic I was being. I laughed relentlessly, well.. until I cried. 

I laughed and cried at the same time.

I think it is some weird and wonderful pregnancy trick.


On the back of this I have booked myself in for a private scan tomorrow. I just want to know that everything is ok still, calm my anxiety and see if she can check that everything is closed 'down there'.

I recieved a call from the midwife at Worcester Hospital today too, they had finally got my results and progress from Birmingham Women's hospital (apparently it took some chasing) - I wasn't aware that this would now be followed up with Worcester, so that's positive. They advised that I would be under the care of a consultant/midwife, so I don't know how that extra care is going to look at this point.

They did advise that from 28 weeks I will be recieving 3 additional scans just to keep an eye on baby and their growth. This news made my heart fly, I was worried that following the 20 week scan, that would be it. I knew my anxiety would go through the roof. I am beyond happy that they will keep a closer eye on us.

The final baby related appointmnet before we jetted off on our half term travels, was the second reassurance scan that I had booked in with Babyface4d. This is the same place we went for our early scan at 8 weeks.

Of course baby was absolutely fine, nice strong heartbeat and I was told that as baby was so big now they don't measure the crown to rump length anymore. Instead they measure each limb and entity on it's own merit. I was told that everything was fine and these measurements don't really matter until the 20 week anomoly scan.

At 14 weeks baby had slightly shorter femurs than the line percentile, and she said that today she would have given me a slightly different due date to that on my notes.

I was hoping we might get a scan with a good display of the nub, but as you can see baby was feeling very awkward on this day. Their legs were firmly crossed, and we couldn't see a thing. In fact Nugget was feeling that awkward that he or she was actually floating around upside down, the sonogropher had to rotate this image for us!

I left feeling happy, there was no sign of any fluid on the babies neck. I am not going to work myself up over measurements. All I wanted and needed to know right now was that Nugget was still alive and well.

So now our travel adventure begins....

13 Weeks Pregnant & Harmony Test Results (NIPT)

13 weeks pregnant. 

The second trimester.

This time seems to have gone as slowly as it has quickly.

I seem to spend my time waiting for the next baby appointment to roll around. This week is the first week in 3 weeks that I haven’t had some form of scan or assessment, and I am missing the reassuring words that followed last weeks scan.

I have been driving myself banana's this week, worrying that the baby’s heart will have stopped beating. This is and has been my top anxiety even before the high Nuchal Translucency (NT) reading.

 This was only heightened after that of course... Nothing quite jolts you like being told your at higher risk of miscarriage now.

With each scan though I have been reassured to hear and see our baby’s strong heart beating, pumping away helping our baby grow. But from our last scan until we get back from New York at the end of February, there will be no more scans and no more assessments.

Deep down I know baby is ok and I’m being a worry wart for nothing. I keep telling myself after the next scan ‘I’ll relax and enjoy my pregnancy’, but after the initial reassurance of each scan I have had, the potential doubt enters my mind and it’s hard to shake.

If anything the extra scans haven’t helped my anxiety, I’ve become almost reliant on them. It’s like at this stage in my pregnancy I need them to let me know that Nugget is doing ok, but any reassurance I gain from the scan is short lived, and a few days later the cycle begins again.

Obviously that is far from ideal, and a scan each and every week is not going to be happening.... but I think I will get in touch with my midwife and see if she can run the doppler over my stomach to hear baby’s heartbeat before we fly to New York.

Just for peace of mind of course.

It is Thursday today - 10 days since I had my blood taken for the Harmony (NIPT) test, I’ve stayed pretty relaxed about receiving the results. I felt like I knew they would come back low risk, and today I finally got a call from the hospital. 

The midwife introduced herself and sounded like she had good news to tell me, you can just tell by the tone of people’s voices. Straight away she said ‘It’s good news!’ And then proceeded to tell me that I had received a LOW RISK for the 3 Trisomies! That means that Down Syndrome, Edwards Syndrome and Patel Syndrome were less likely to be present in our baby!

The best news! I couldn’t stop grinning from ear to ear. I was at work when I took the call and the lady I work with shared in my happy news.

With the outcome I had hoped for under my belt, I text Luke, my family and Nicky (the lovely sonogropher who has been a god send to me these last few weeks) to let everyone know. 

After that, we announced my pregnancy to the director. So now I have informed work that I will be having a baby in August!

God it feels so good to actually say that.

It’s all starting to feel so much more real now, and tonight I pulled the doppler back out of the cupboard I had thrown it (I couldn’t find the heartbeat so hid it away to stop myself going mad), and I lay down on the bed to see if I could locate the boom, boom, boom of Nugget’s heart.

Below my belly button and just above my pubic bone, and slightly to the right.... there baby was. A beautiful strong and super fast swoosh, swoosh, swoosh. I lay there just listening and smiling feeling so so lucky.

I don’t take this pregnancy forgranted, everyday I’m feeling so lucky to be able to bring this life into the world. I’m feeling so excited now, and this outcome is better than I could have dared dream. 

I have started the process of booking my gender scan for Saturday 29th February. That is the next time I will see baby. I have decided that it would be nice to head back to Babyface4D where I had my early scan at 8 weeks. 

They are really competitively priced and even throw in the 3D prints all for £49, which is a complete steal. The other deal I was looking at an alternative company that would have cost £80, and would have been extra for 3D scan and images...

I’ve ordered a gender reveal balloon so that we can make it fun for Leo. It worked out cheaper to find the balloon on EBay... The plan is not to find out at the actual scan, but just to enjoy watching baby on the screen and then getting them to write down whether we are having a boy or a girl on a card. I will then take this card to the balloon shop and get them to inflate the balloon as per the instructions on the card.

Then when Luke finishes work we can all get together as a family (a big family that is, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and their partners!) and find out a little more about who the next member of this mad clan will be.

Week 13 has sharped into a really good week, we have more certainty over Nugget, and I think Luke is finally feeling relieved and able to get excited. The Harmony results are exactly what we hoped for, we have New York in just over a week, and we can finally tell the world that we are HAVING A BABY!

I’ll be happier once I can feel movement properly, there have been a few instances this week where I have wondered if it’s baby... but the jury is still out and I’m not sold. Hopefully in the next few weeks I will be able to feel them wiggling and jiggling.

I haven’t had any round ligament pain since the first fetal medicine appointment, I can’t really remember when it started with Leo. Or maybe you don’t feel it as much in subsequent pregnancies? 

I do feel like I’m starting to get a little teeny bump, I’m definitely not as flat as I was before falling pregnant (but then I’ve been eating what I want and not exercising... so it could just be that catching me up!)

On a final note for week 13, I have recieved my 20 week scan appointmnet now *insert woop woop* - It's the week after my echo cardiogram at Birmingham Fetal Medicine, and I will be 19+5 weeks pregnant.

Hopefully both of these scans will bring even more positive news, and following our gender scan in a few weeks, will take our scan toll to 9 already in this pregnancy (and that is even before I round it up to a neat 10 with a 3D scan at 26 weeks!).

For now though, all is well and we have come such a long way in the 4 weeks following our 10 week scan. 

11 Weeks Pregnant - High NT (Nuchal Translucency)

I have hit week 11 of pregnancy and with each passing day I feel like I am in uncharted territory. You would be forgiven for thinking that this was my first baby, not my second. 

Leo was such a straight forward textbook pregnancy, after his scan at 9 weeks I knew that at the end of the pregnancy I would have a baby in my arms. This time despite having 2 scans already in a mere 11 weeks of pregnancy, there is more doubt than ever that I will ever hold my baby in my arms than ever before.

In some respects I do feel pregnant now, I’m waking up anything between 2-5 times a night for a wee. I don’t remember that starting this early!? It’s a real thing though, and my boobs are really sore and veiny. 

That aside though, if it wasn’t for the high NT... this really would be another dream pregnancy. 

Since my scan on Thursday I have been a crazed pregnant Google lady. I have been re-searching high NT (Nuchal Translucency) testing and results, I have been finding some incredibly amazing, heart warming positive stories that have given me hope in the darkest of days, and I have read some equally heart-breaking accounts of what high NT actually means.

My CVS (Chorionic Villus Sampling) is happening tomorrow at 4pm. They will be inserting a needle  into my abdomen and removing a sample of cells from the placenta. They will then work up my baby and his or her chromosomes. Within 3 working days I should have my first set of results back that will tell me whether or not our little Nugget has one of the 3 Trisomies.

- Edwards Syndrome

- Down Syndrome

- Patel Syndrome

It's ironic really that I spent the first 10 weeks over thinking another missed miscarriage that I took my babies over all health for granted. I agreed to the Nuchal Translucency test at my booking in appointment without giving it a second thought. I saw a heartbeat on the screen and a active real looking baby dancing around and just expected to hear that everything was OK, that everything was as it should be.

In my 3rd pregnancy I am learning yet another valuable lesson. 

I wonder if there was something I could have done differently, is the high NT because I had flu and took a few Paracetamol? Could I really be having a poorly baby at the age of 30? 

In my research over the past few days I have been given a glint of hope, my first findings were that the NT scan should actually take place between 11 - 13 weeks and when the baby measures a minimum of 45mm (1.8 inches). At the time of our last scan I was 10 weeks + 5 days, and the baby measured 39mm. 

Another theory for a raised NT is the way the baby is or has been laying within the sac, if the baby is too flat then sometimes the fluid can pool there with nowhere else to go... It may be wishful thinking but I am intrigued to see what the Nuchal Fold measurement is tomorrow at the scan where I will be 11 weeks + 3 days.

I have made the decision to stay positive, I am going to get answers and request only facts. Speculation will not serve me well so I have prepared a list of questions. I feel that I have addressed everything that has gone through my mind over the last few days. 

I know that ultimately it is a waiting game, and that the real answers will come in the form of cold hard facts from the results of the CVS.

At 11 weeks I should be feeling excited at making the announcement of our baby to our friends and family, but right now it feels like a big secret. Right now I am trying to work out and fathom the fate for my unborn child, and I have a feeling that this will be something I fight for my entire pregnancy.

Tomorrow I will push for a new NT measurement, I will ask all the questions about how the overall structure of our baby is looking, are there any other markers/anomalies that jump out at them?

Can they see any issues with the heart at this stage? 

Is the heartbeat strong and normal?

My actual list of questions is rather long and I feel that they may wonder what force that have allowed into their office. 

Of course I am hoping for a happy ending, I am hoping that I am one of the lucky ones who's baby had an un-explainable high NT that was born fit and healthy. 

Right now I don't have the answers, I don't know what the future holds. I don't know if it means getting our baby at the end of it. 

I am setting mini milestones to get through this pregnancy. The first mile stone is tomorrow, the CVS. If baby is still fighting and the heartbeat beating away, the next milestone will be the 12 week scan (which we don't currently have a date for). After this I expect that I will be booking an additional private scan so that Leo can see his baby brother or sister on the screen, I want to do this sooner rather than later just in case.

After this I have been told that we will most likely have a heart anomaly scan at 16 weeks so that they can see the heart in more detail and see if that is the reason for the raised NT. 

My biggest milestone in this set of milestones will be the 20 week scan. If we can get through the CVS, if we can keep Nugget's heart beating away, and we smash all of our upcoming scans... the 20 week may just finally offer some hope and relief. 

Right now based on our NT of 4.7mm we have a 50% chance of a healthy baby at the end of all this. 

50%

This could increase or decrease based on what they find tomorrow. .

Last night I found Nugget’s heartbeat at home with a Doppler at 11+2. Right down low behind my pubic bone. It’s crazy how low they are right now, and even crazier that I found the magical beat beat beat of their heart.

I know it was definitely Nugget because last week I found my own (Insert Laughing here), Luke thought it was hilarious, but there was no mistaking this!

Where there is life, there is hope.

10 Weeks Pregnant

It's been 2 weeks since my private scan, and the last week has gone really slowly as I have been waiting for my dating scan with the NHS. This isn't the 12 week scan, but a scan to see how far along I am due to my cycles being irregular. 

Everything has been going perfectly, I was happy knowing that at 8 weeks there was a strong heartbeat, and this did help settle my mind.

I have felt less tired in recent weeks and I have put that down to the placenta starting to take over for the baby's nutrients. I am back to later nights at 10 weeks pregnant, Luke and I have been working our way through the Alien movies each evening once Leo has gone to bed.

One thing that has become very obvious is that I am not a fan of the first trimester. It's so hard being pregnant and not knowing if things are progressing as they should. You can't feel your baby move and you literally have to have blind faith that everything is going to be ok.

I think this is even more true when you don't have full blown pregnancy symptoms, for me all I have really had is tiredness and sore boobs. I have developed a few food aversions again, Halloumi is off the menu for starter, I don't know what is about this cheese when I am pregnant but I hate it.

The other night I cooked up a beautiful big steak to have in a salad, but when it came to eat the steak it just didn't taste right. The dog thought he had died and gone to heaven when the opportunity to demolish the steak came about, I stuck with my feta and salad!

The NHS Dating Scan

Today, the 16th January 2020 my NHS dating scan finally came around. I didn't really have any feelings about this scan, I was eager to see that the baby's heart was still nice and strong, but I had just somehow decided that everything was going to be ok.

Luke and I arrived at the hospital, the same hospital that I was scanned at back in July when I was referred for my viability scan due to no heartbeat being detected. I was pleased to see that Nicky, the midwife who had seen me through my pregnancy with Leo, and also the one who conducted the scan back in July was still at the helm and doing the scan for us today.

It was in a different room to last time, a room that I felt was a safe space un-tainted by the past. Nicky welcomed us in and advised us that there was a student with us today, which of course was fine with myself and Luke. I lay down on the bed, Luke sat in the chair.

The gel was placed upon my belly and very quickly our baby appeared on the screen. I could already tell that baby had done a considerable amount of growing in those 2 weeks. At the 8 week scan Nugget was 17.8mm from crown to rump, and now at 10+5 Nugget was already 39mm!

I felt instantly relaxed as soon as I saw our little baby waving around on the screen, there was constant movement and the heart was beating just as it should. Nicky then said 'I do need to make you aware that there is more fluid than we would like behind the babies neck'.

This is usually highlighted around 12 weeks when they carry out the Nuchal Translucency (NT) check, this is the fluid that collects under the skin behind the babies neck. I recalled my midwife Louise talking about this check at 12 weeks, I remember saying that I wanted it.

Not for one second did I think it would be a cause for concern.

I didn't realise the severity of what she was saying right away, I just lay there in shock staring at our baby on the screen. Nicky explained that fluid behind the babies neck was a normal part of development for babies in the womb, but if the baby has more fluid than usual.... It could be an indication of a possible health problem.

Straight away my happy safe little bubble burst.

Nicky took some more measurements and confirmed that our little Nugget had 4.7mm of fluid and then talked us through the possible scenarios that could be linked to an increased NT.

- Trisomy 21 otherwise known as Down Syndrome - It's caused by an extra chromosome in your cells and occurs by chance at the time of conception.

-Trisomy 18 - Edwards Syndrome - I had never heard of this one but as soon as I took to Google I hoped to God that this wasn't the case. Edwards Syndrome is a rare but serious genetic condition that causes a wide range of medical problems.

-Trisomy 13 - Patau Syndrome - Patau syndrome is a syndrome caused by a chromosomal abnormality, in which some or all of the cells of the body contain extra genetic material from chromosome 13. The extra genetic material disrupts normal development, causing multiple and complex organ defects.

- Genetic Syndromes

-Heart Abnormalities

- Increased risk of miscarriage

Nicky said that although it could be something, it may very well be nothing. Nicky talked us through the next steps and advised that following the scan today I would now be receiving consultant lead care for the rest of my pregnancy.

It was too early for the screening blood test to take place, and we discussed Chronic Villus Sampling (CVS), this is a diagnostic test that they can carry out between 11 and 14 weeks of pregnancy. It's an invasive test that I never thought that I would have to consider. It's where a needle is passed into your lower abdomen and into the placenta where cells are harvested and tested to look for the above chromosome abnormalities.

I looked at Luke for reassurance on what to do, the CVS had a 1-2% risk of miscarriage, we discussed what to do. We decided that we should be fully prepared and know what was happening, and the sooner the better.

In the seriousness of the scan I completely forgot to ask to purchase some scan photos. I had started walking down the corridor by the time I realised the error of my ways. I rushed back to the room like a mad woman, and Nicky had already closed the screen. She told me that she would post the images to me free of charge.

I returned to work and as I had already told the lady I work with about the pregnancy, she was of course excited to hear how I had gotten on. I explained that there was good news and some not so good news and went into the whole sorry tale.

Of course I didn't manage to stay composed and the tears did fall.

In all of the worry about the worst case scenario I had completely neglected to mention that the baby's due date was my birthday!

Our little nugget is due on the 8th August 2020! Exactly 31 years since I was born.

I am determined to remain positive, I will see this through and hope that Nugget is developing as he should be.

While I was back at work, Nikki text me and said that she had printed the scan photos off already and if I wanted to pop back that afternoon I could. When I did pop back she was in the middle of someone else's ultrasound but popped out to personally hand me the scan photos. She asked me to keep her updated and told me that she was crossing her fingers for me.

Nicky made today bearable, she equipped me with everything I needed to know (and writing it down here has really helped).

The NHS have been wonderful today, from Nicky and the referral that she has made for me to Worcester calling me up by 2:30pm (I expect this is where I will be seeing the consultant for the rest of my pregnancy) and by 4pm I had Birmingham's Fetal Medicine Department on the phone arranging an appointment for the CVS for Tuesday 21st January at 4pm!

The service today has been incredible, it may not have been the news I was hoping for, but I feel like we are in good hands.