Global Developmental Delay

I have always shared Leo's milestones here, it has been our sacred place to speak about his achievements, the things he says and the things he does. It has also been our place to talk about the difficulties we have experienced over the years, and it seems that those same difficulties are still following my little man around.

I always find it hard to put into words when I talk about what troubles Leo, and this is because he is just a normal little boy. He looks like any other happy child, he sounds like any other happy child. He loves like his heart might burst at any given moment, and he cares deeply about his family and the people around him. I may be biased, but he is a beautiful little human.

This is why I find it so hard to put his struggles into words, because how can someone so loving, so normal, so beautiful have everything he needs in all of those areas, but struggle so much with academic learning? How can that same little boy be classed as globally delayed.

I always knew school was going to be a struggle, I mean how could it not after the last couple of years of being told he was so behind his peers? First it was the speech delay, then it was his social interaction and now it's everything that goes on in a reception class. Granted his speech has come along absolutely beautifully and you would never even know now that he didn't talk straight away. In fact a recent speech assessment has told me that Leo's speech essentially masks his wider delay. They say that his speech has advanced ahead of his understanding, and although the report also highlighted areas that I do agree with, this is one point that I definitely disagree with.

Leo is very particular about what interests him, if it's something that pleases him and he wants to do, he will listen to instruction and follow through with the task. If however it is something that he does not want to do, you can bet your bottom dollar that he will halfheartedly take part. You could even say that he plays on the fact that he knows the teachers are taking his learning slow and steady with him, like he almost knows what they are thinking. 

What is global delay?

The term 'developmental delay' or 'global development delay' is used when a child takes longer to reach certain developmental milestones than other children their age.  This might include learning to walk or in Leo's case talk,. It could even be developing motor skills, learning new things and interacting with others socially and emotionally.

In some cases, the delay will be short-term and can be overcome with additional support or therapy. However, in other cases the delay may be more significant and the child will need ongoing support – this indicates they may also have a learning disability.  

School have informed me that Leo is globally delayed, but this is not an assessment that has come from a pediatrician. This is just something that has been used to describe the situation as it is right at this moment in time. Leo is learning you see and we have all been doing so much with him to try and bring him along that little bit more. I recently purchased the 'Teach your Monster to Read' App and Leo has been absolutely loving it, he's been coming along marvelously with all of his sounds, but is still struggling when it comes to putting words together. But I will take that as a step forward, because this is the first time he has shown an interest in letters and sounds. All of a sudden it's like he actually wants to try.

The school are fantastic, Leo now gets a lot of 1 to 1 and this seems to help spur him a long a little more. The most recent news is that we have finally been referred to the Pediatrician and are awaiting our first appointment, and on the 28th of this month we have an educational psychologist coming in to visit with Leo in school. I can only take this as a positive. 

I am at the point now where I just want answers and support for Leo. I'm angry that this could have all been sorted over the last couple of years in preparation for when he started school. I'm angry that the health visitor let us down, not just once, but twice. 

It was she who raised the initial concerns at Leo's 2 and half year assessment, it was she who ignored my phone calls and didn't follow up with us as she had promised. It was she who a year later came out to the house and told me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with Leo and there was no way that she was going to refer him.

It was she who sent him off to school when she damn well should have referred him. 

It was she who let Leo slip through the net. 

I am not just angry at her though. I am angry at myself. I am angry that I let her wash this relief all over me, let myself believe those words that I had longed to hear, despite the nursery completely contradicting what the health visitor had said. After years of hearing all of the things that Leo wasn't achieving, I cannot even begin to tell you how amazing it felt hearing that Leo was exceeding for once.

Do you know what though? I would not change a hair on Leo's head. So he finds school hard. So he's not where the other children are right now. I have a beautiful, happy, well behaved little man who is kind, loving and all round amazing. 

Leo has made really good friends with a little boy in his class, and when I had to collect my nephew a few weeks ago, I arrived early so I could sneak a peek at Leo playing on the big open field. I have always worried that I would see Leo looking lost as all the other children ran around enjoying themselves, as that is what the feedback from nursery and school has always lead me to believe. What I saw was the complete opposite, Leo and 2 of his friends running around, playing, kicking the football. Having a great time. I sat there for around 5 minutes just watching. Then I couldn't resist calling him over, he was so excited to see me and his little friends bounded over with him.

For me the most important factors are that Leo is happy, he likes school, he has friends. That to me is all that really matters. We will get Leo where he needs to be, but the fact that he is smiling is worth so much more than anything else. 

 

Take your time

We all only want the best for our children. We want them to be happy, content and healthy.

We want them to succeed to the very best of their ability, we want them to be all that they can be. 

But what if your child can never be compared to the likes of Joe Bloggs next to him? What if his entire developmental life you have had to fight to show the world what he can do, when all they have focused on is what he can't do? 

Leo is bright and caring, he is lovable and cheeky. He pushes his boundaries and looks for adventure. He is happy. He is so happy. He loves his family, and is loved completely and entirely in return. He learns at his own pace. He has never followed the expectations marked out for him that pit him up against other children. The line that has put him behind in every sense of the word for so long.

I knew starting school there would be concerns. I am used to it. I live by the motto 'As long as I can see that he is learning, whatever speed that may be, I am happy'. I don't care if the other children can count out 10 blocks and match each of the blocks to the appropriate number. and Leo can't, if the other children are reading short stories mere months after starting school. I don't care. I care about what Leo is doing. He might not be doing any of that, he isn't doing any of that, but he is picking out letters, he's telling me what they are. He's recognising them. He's trying and something is going in.

He recognises his name. 

He's learning to write his name.

His speech has come along in leaps and bounds! 

He tells stories,

He goes into school happy.

He's trying new meals at lunchtimes,

He's making friends.

He's learning in his own way!

Everyone around Leo just wants the best for him, his family and his teachers. I will make sure he gets all the support he needs, but I just wish that we could focus on what he can do over what he can't quite yet. Because in time he WILL do it, but only when he is ready. Leo really is so much like me, I didn't read for the first year at school, and I struggled. It makes sense that Leo might learn like I did. Slowly and at a pace he has tailored for himself. 

In a recent meeting with his teacher I explained that I had been here before. I know that Leo is behind, it's been pointed out so many times over the years. He gets distracted, he doesn't concentrate, he likes to do his own thing. It's time to conform and in his own way, he is starting to. 

It's been 3 months since he started school, 3 months. He is 4 years old. 4. He's still so young. In those 3 months he has come on so much, and just look at what he is doing that he wasn't when he started. 

I choose to focus on what Leo can do over what he can't. When I say can't. I mean can't right now, because my boy will do it. One day. 

Leo will be all that he is supposed to be. He will be all that he can. He will be happy and he will be loved and cared for. So learning might be hard, but that doesn't mean that he won't do amazing and wonderful things with his life. 

As long as he is learning, I am happy.

New school, new dreams, new room

Letting go of our kid’s hands as they start a new school can be a tough moment as a parent. It’s a time you have to be cruel to be kind, before they get used to this new environment.

Change is hard for even the most experienced of us, so I can only imagine what’s going on in those tiny little heads across the country as they take their first steps into the world of education. It’s a scary thing, but maybe there are a few ways to make change more acceptable.

One way I’ve been thinking about making the idea of school and change more appealing is to do a spot of redecorating. Create a place from your child’s room that is exciting and filled with all the new dreams and ambitions that school can bring.

These are my recommendations:

Do it together

When so much of our lives and our kid’s lives will now be spent at work or at school, it’s more important than ever to do activities together. Plus this is a perfect opportunity to help your child understand that change can be good and new experiences can be wonderful. Make it a fun and exciting activity for everyone.

Go beyond the limits

Involve your child as much as you can in the decorating process, from the choosing, the preparing and the actual decorating. This may seem daunting, but this is a test for you to. You need to start letting your child express themselves, push the limits and be independent. This is a terrifying thing for most mums, I know. When time goes so quickly you just want to bundle them up and keep them your baby forever. But let them be creative and independent, at least just in their own room. This means even letting them choose those clashing colours and patterns if they like.

Reflect their dreams

Education is a time when you start developing your hopes, dreams and ambitions. Yes they might change from year to year, but it’s so important to support these dreams each time. Your kid’s room is the perfect place to support these. I’m thinking wallpaper could be the best way to get across this is a fun way. Just looking through some of the designs in Dulux Decorator Centre’s children’s range, you could express anything from travel, engineering and science.

Rest and relax

The school day is so tiring for little ones, there’s no denying that. So, not only must their room be a fun place to be, it must also be a place to rest and recharge in comfort. Let it inspire a blissful sleep and happy dreams, ready to wake up refreshed and raring to go in the morning.

Make it last

Lastly, with all this fun and fantastical decoration, don’t forget to make the room practical. I wouldn’t want to go through all this work, only for the paint to flake off or dirty marks to spoil the look. Looking through some of my options for painting, there are certain paints that are designed to be hard wearing and durable such as Dulux Trade Diamond Matt, no matter how many little sticky fingers it ensures.

Now go out and create an amazing place with your child. Doing something fun like this will hopefully make going to school and leaving their mummy or daddy behind a little less frightening for your little one.

So good luck and keep your head up as you send your boys and girls of to the big wide world of education.

The one with a week before school

There is one week left of the summer holiday's, and although I have spent Monday to Thursday in the office, I am still trying to get my head around the fact that my not so little man is starting school. I guess this right here is actually going to be a reflective post, how could it not be? Starting school is such a huge milestone and this next year is going to be one full of transition and growth.

School marks the pathway to the rest of Leo's life, what he will do, who he will be. It will lead him right the way through to his adult life, and that is both a scary and rather amazing thought. Everything that has happened in his past, and everything that is coming in his future, are shaping him to take on life in his very own way. To help him achieve his goals and ultimately be the very best version of himself that he can possibly be. 

I could say that time has been on warp speed since the day he landed in my life all those years ago, but every parent knows that, it simply goes without saying. Did I think the day he started school would come around so fast? Never. Did I think my baby would ever grow up on me? Not on your life. Well not this quickly anyway.

Do I think Leo is ready to enter the big wide world that will open to him when school does commence? It's a question that I have actually been asking myself for the past year, what with all of the bumps in the road we have had in terms of his developments, I guess that the answer would change depending on which day of the week you asked me. Right now I am completely, and 100% sure that he is ready for this next step. It goes without saying that it is going to be a complete shock to the system (for both of us!), but in terms of development and over all readiness, yes. He is very much ready for this next chapter.

I think that it is definitely going to open his eyes, and it may even result in a potential dislike after the initial novelty wears off and he realises the expectations of the teachers and fellow pupils. Like every child who has entered the school before him, Leo will adapt. He will grow and he will conform. Over the years I have spoken so much about conforming, and how children should conform in their own time and in their own way, and I guess that the time is fast approaching for that little man of mine.

In preparation for the historic day Leo has been sent the perfect pair of school shoes, the start rite Hat-Trick, Black Leather School Shoes. I am a firm believer in children having a pair of shoes that fit them properly, especially a pair that will be worn day in and out for a substantial amount of time. Leo and I were out in Cheltenham a few weeks back when we decided to pop into our local start rite store to get his feet measured. The staff were so accommodating and gladly measured little man up so that we knew his exact size.

When the shoes arrived the first thing we did was have Leo model them, it's almost a coming of age moment getting those very first school shoes in, and we certainly treated it as such. Little man was just as excited and had been talking for weeks about getting this very special pair of shoes, un-boxing them was something that couldn't happen quickly enough, he wanted those shoes on his feet, and he wanted them now.

start rite Hat Trick Shoe Specifications:

- Comes with a football keyring

- Riptape fastening for adjustability and comfortable fit

- Glow in the dark feature on upper

- Mesh linings for breathability 

- Lightweight rubber sole for comfort

- Padded ankle for comfort and support

- Scuff resistant rubber toe bumper

They are a lovely pair of shoes and fit like a dream with plenty of growing room, which of course is exactly what we need for a growing boy. With a price tag of £47.00 they don't break the bank and I can rest assured knowing that Leo has a quality pair of fitting shoes on his feet. start rite believe in children having well fitted shoes throughout every stage of development, and I couldn't agree more. 

I now have one 4 year old very much ready to start school, and one Mummy ready (She says!) for him to go. We shall see how I fare when it comes to dropping him off on that very first day. I get the feeling that I am all talk and really not ready to wave him off... But one way or another, that little man of mine is on the path to growing up, and walking it in a pair of very well fitting school shoes. 

Disclaimer: We were sent the above pair of start rite Hat Trick School Shoes for the purpose of this post and our honest opinion. All views expressed are those of Life Unexpected.

The Imminent School Days

 

4 years ago I was pregnant. I was expecting a bouncing baby boy, and the weeks were flying by as I busied myself with everything I had to buy for the arrival of my teeny tiny newborn. Time was a blur, but I told myself that once he was here, I would have chance to catch my breath and the whirlwind in which I was circling around in would relent and time would stand still.

 

Of course Leo arrived and time did everything but slow down. Week by week he grew, he started to smile, laugh and become his own little person. He captured my heart and became my very reason for living. I dedicated all that I am to my mischievous and beautiful boy, and as the weeks turned into months, and the months turned into years, the time never did relent.

 

Leo started nursery and slowly but surely settled in, we encountered hurdles along the way but together we over came everything that tried to stop us in our tracks. We spent days together enjoying all that we were, he had become my right arm and my very best friend. The months continued to fly by and before I knew it I had a 3 year old on my hands. An actual 3 year old who was now more a pre-schooler than a toddler, and those baby days and night feeds were now just a distant memory.

 

Suddenly the time had come to start thinking about SCHOOLS! Yes schools! Somehow that little boy I had cradled in my arms, lay on my chest and burped on my lap was at the age I needed to relinquish him to outside teaching and experiences that I couldn't always be a part of. 

 

I knew exactly where I wanted Leo to go, and as the nursery he attends is based in the school grounds, I was determined that he would be attending. It's a beautiful village school and having been there myself back in the day, and having some of the very same teachers still teaching there that taught me, I knew many years ago where I wanted him to take those very first steps into education.

 

 

Of course when these applications went in, September 2015 still seemed to be so far away, a sun blazing on the very tip of the horizon, and not an imminent sunrise about to fire into the sky. But here we are in April, 4 and a bit months away to when my newly 4 year old will be starting his very first day in Reception at First School.

 

Last night at midnight I sat there refreshing the applications page, impatiently waiting to see if Leo had been offered a place at our school of choice. Midnight arrived and suddenly there was confirmation that Leo had indeed been granted a place at school for this coming September. It was all really happening.

 

I have such mixed feelings about Leo starting school, part of my thinks that it is going to do him the world of good, and the other half thinks that he is still so young and that he really will be one of the youngest in his year. Being a June baby he is at the younger end of the year, and even now there is a big difference between his over all appearance to some of the older children that are nearing the age of 5. Then I shake myself and realise that he is going to be absolutely fine, he's resilient and strong. Nothing is going to stop him or hold him back. I won't let it.

 

 

My biggest fear is handing over my baby boy on that very first day. Watching him walk into the classroom in his school uniform and leaving him in a class of 30 children, because once that has happened everything is going to change forever. What if someone is mean to him? What if he falls and needs me? What if he doesn't like it? What if he is bullied? What if he falls behind? There are so many 'what if's' buzzing around my head...

 

Once Leo has started school, he is going to grow up so quickly. He will learn new words, new meanings, life lessons. He will have outside influences that were never there before, he will grow up ten fold in a few short weeks. He will learn amazing things and some not so amazing things, and the next four years are going to be completely different to our first. It will never be the same... ever again. No longer will we have our exclusive Mummy and Leo time, days spent in the park and strolling around the town just the two of us, sipping Costa's by the river.

 

He will be at school.

 

 

These last 4 years have just completely flown. They have been the most amazing, exhilarating and emotional years of my life. Leo has learnt and grown so much, and I really do have to accept that my baby boy has grown up into a beautiful and kind little boy, and he is going to achieve so many amazing things over the coming years. It has been a learning curve for both Leo and I, because just as much as he has been learning about the ways of the world, I have had to learn about him, and being a Mum! I have made mistakes and I am by no means perfect, but when I look at Leo and his smiling Blue eyes, I know I got something right. I got him right.

 

In September I will be placing my trust in the hands of his teacher, I will be watching him take a step back from me and a step towards her. I myself will be taking a reluctant step back as he grows up a little bit more right in front of my eyes, and accepting that time will never slow down. It will only hurtle on, and our worlds are going to change forever.