Build yourself UP

It's been over a year since I moved back to the family home, and what a year it has been. It's been a bit of a roller coaster to say the least, from packing that very first box, being made redundant back in April, to the here and now, where I am still coming to terms with the fact that I may be taking on my latest adventure. Becoming a full time blogger.

Blogging is a role that I quite simply adore, it's a dream job for me, Working for myself, earning my own money and being able to be there for Leo as and when he needs me. It has always been that though, a dream. Now when I sit here trying to fathom which email to respond to first, or the most practical way to tackle that never ending to do list, I realise that the possibility and the work is there for the taking, all I need to throw at it is time. 

Every parent knows that time can be a bit of a buzz kill, moving home actually saw me lose even more times when it came to my blog, I saw a light with my fitness and ran with it. That meant that the time I would have once spent in an evening sitting in front of the laptop, was spent trying to achieve new goals for myself. 

Now here I am at the start of my very new venture, one that I am incredibly excited and nervous about (More excited than anything else!) I have a new sense of confidence and reason to push forward. Before now something has held me back, I can't put my finger exactly on what... Whether it was through a lack of self confidence, maybe a fear that I may let myself down or something else? Whatever the reason, I have never taken that chance. 

Until now.

Times a funny old thing and it is thanks to time that you WILL find yourself outside of your comfort zone. Life would be a little bit boring if things didn't get shaken up every once in a while right? Did I ever think I would be in the National News with my family talking about our crazy set up? Nope! But I did. Did I ever think that I would shed the weight? Not really! Did I ever think that I would spend my Saturday would be spent looking at bathroom furniture and bed sheets? Nope, it's definitely outside of my usual shopping! With a little help of Tesco online this was made much easier.

Let's face it, if things were to stay the same throughout our entire lives, would we ever take a chance? Would we ever step outside that box we are all quite happy sitting inside? I am inclined to say that we wouldn't. 

One thing that I really have discovered about myself this year is just how strong I am as a person. I breathe positivity and it's a quality that I am so happy to possess. It is a rarity that I ever feel stressed, and sometimes when I think about what I have actually lived through this year, I wonder how I have managed it with a smile on my face. 

Some of that is a blog post for another day, but each day that passes just makes that smile of mine get a little bit wider.

Shine Bright

Time has run away with me of late, the days and weeks have passed in the blink of an eye and life as I knew it has changed rather dramatically, rather amazingly. In the right here and now I am so excited for the weeks and months ahead, of learning and challenging myself in a field that I am passionate about. 

I have always said that everything happens for a reason, that when one door closes another is just waiting to open. When I was made redundant on the 27th April, I knew that one way or another everything was going to be ok. When I was called upon on first thing on that usual Monday morning I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, it was the usual run of the mill Monday morning. Only this Monday morning I was to be in a meeting with the managing director, and a number of my fellow co-workers. I made my way promptly and no one really knew what it was about, but not for one moment did I think that my time with the company I had spent the last 5 years with was coming to an end. 

It was however coming to an end. We all took our seats and awaited the arrival of the director, I don't think any of us really saw it coming. Within seconds of the director arriving our fate had been sealed. 'Your jobs are at risk of redundancy'....'We will be starting the consultation period...'. In those seconds following the news, I don't recall sadness, shock...anything? In fact I was surprisingly calm, collected even. I guess you never know how you will react until you are staring into the eye of the storm, but ultimately it depends on how YOU want to conduct yourself. I wanted to leave on good terms, and celebrate the 5 years that I had served with the company. 

I smiled as I went back to my desk, made a green tea and made my way to my first consultation meeting. I smiled as I walked in the door, and I made light of the situation in my way of trying to let my line manager and HR manager know that it was just one of those things It's not personal, it's business after all. They read from a script as my fate was further cemented into the hard reality that it was, I kept thinking that I should feel more, say more, but I just felt at ease with everything that was happening. Like it was somehow meant to be, that it was my time do actually do something. 

Only the week before all of this happened I had wrote a post about how I was going to spend those 2 days a week I was going to find myself with after Leo started school. I was going to fill them with blogging, putting 2 whole days into my hobby. I was going to take a look at college courses and see what took my fancy, I had ideas, but no set direction set in my mind. Suddenly that direction seemed cloudy and un-certain, but that was ok. It was time to pick myself up, dust myself off and get right back out there. I figured I had two options, I could sit at home and dwell on it, or I could start making changes right there and then. So that's what I did. 

If one thing has surprised me in the weeks that have followed, it's that this here blog, that has been my best kept secret for well over 3 years, is now no longer secret. It's out in the open to friend, family and everyone I once worked with. The reactions following the un-veiling have surprised me, and I guess surprised them in turn, and you know what? I am pleased that it's known. I have worked hard on my little corner of cyber space, had some bigger than life opportunities and met some fantastic people, it was a part of my life that has been kept under lock and key. It's time I shout it from the roof tops, because I am so proud of everything that is documented here. 

I had absolutely no idea that the twists and turns of the weeks that followed were going to put a big smile on my face. I have now officially left my old job, and I am embarking on a exciting new adventure that came along at that exact moment when one door closed. As that one door shut, another door crept open and set me on a new track, one that I firmly believe I am meant to be on.

Sometimes things have to fall apart before they can fall back together, keep smiling. 

Redundancy

For years I didn't have the time or inclination to treat myself, I didn't feel overly great about the way I looked and this put me off buying clothes. Of course as we were living in our own home, we didn't really have the expandable income to just buy things willy nilly, and for those years Leo was the only one who really befitted from any lovely new clothes. That was because Leo needed new items, he was a growing boy, and as fast as I could kit him out for the one size, he was moving on up into the next one! Leo is turning 4 years old in 2 months time, and I have been buying age 4-5 for the last few months now, just so that he can get the maximum wear out of his wardrobe.

It just so happens that yesterday I was made redundant from my job, so now money is looking to be a little tighter again. With that being said though, it is always down to budgeting, and it just means that I need to be a little more refined with my spending, which these days seems to happen much more freely than back in the days where I didn't feel I could pull of anything I wore...  

Of course it's times like these that you see all the items that you would just LOVE to buy. It sods law, and it literally is as though someone is having a really good giggle at your expense. Trying to tempt you to purchase that gorgeous new dress, or those shoes that would go perfectly with that bag you already have at home... But you know that you need to save. You need to be a grown up and make sure all of those bills of yours are paid each month, because you don't really know what is going to happen over the coming months. When will you be back in work again? Will you be able to cover all of your bills until you get back on your feet?

It's times like these that you really think about what you would do with an extra £100, and right now I can think of so many different things, from necessities that I really should be focusing my full attention on to all of the shiny items that capture my attention without trying. However right now my main focus is on my little man's birthday. Leo has been promised a Nintendo Wii U for his upcoming fourth birthday, of course this was before my job was on the line. An extra £100 right now would work wonders towards making my little guy's birthday. Leo is Mario mad at the moment, so he is hoping for Mario Kart 8 to accompany the console, and Mummy is going to be cooking up a storm in the kitchen baking a Super Mario Kart Birthday Cake!

I may have to have a look into the TSB Plus Account!

For now I am applying for jobs and deciding what I want to do with myself. I left my position yesterday after finding out that my job was now redundant, as I felt that I would be in a better position to think the situation and make the changes that need making from home. I feel like I have had a productive day, and I have even looked into the possibility of returning to college. One thing is for sure, I certainly have some decisions to make over the coming weeks.

What would you do with £100 extra this month?

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