Tuesday 12 May 2015

Shine Bright

Time has run away with me of late, the days and weeks have passed in the blink of an eye and life as I knew it has changed rather dramatically, rather amazingly. In the right here and now I am so excited for the weeks and months ahead, of learning and challenging myself in a field that I am passionate about. 

I have always said that everything happens for a reason, that when one door closes another is just waiting to open. When I was made redundant on the 27th April, I knew that one way or another everything was going to be ok. When I was called upon on first thing on that usual Monday morning I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, it was the usual run of the mill Monday morning. Only this Monday morning I was to be in a meeting with the managing director, and a number of my fellow co-workers. I made my way promptly and no one really knew what it was about, but not for one moment did I think that my time with the company I had spent the last 5 years with was coming to an end. 

It was however coming to an end. We all took our seats and awaited the arrival of the director, I don't think any of us really saw it coming. Within seconds of the director arriving our fate had been sealed. 'Your jobs are at risk of redundancy'....'We will be starting the consultation period...'. In those seconds following the news, I don't recall sadness, shock...anything? In fact I was surprisingly calm, collected even. I guess you never know how you will react until you are staring into the eye of the storm, but ultimately it depends on how YOU want to conduct yourself. I wanted to leave on good terms, and celebrate the 5 years that I had served with the company. 

I smiled as I went back to my desk, made a green tea and made my way to my first consultation meeting. I smiled as I walked in the door, and I made light of the situation in my way of trying to let my line manager and HR manager know that it was just one of those things It's not personal, it's business after all. They read from a script as my fate was further cemented into the hard reality that it was, I kept thinking that I should feel more, say more, but I just felt at ease with everything that was happening. Like it was somehow meant to be, that it was my time do actually do something. 

Only the week before all of this happened I had wrote a post about how I was going to spend those 2 days a week I was going to find myself with after Leo started school. I was going to fill them with blogging, putting 2 whole days into my hobby. I was going to take a look at college courses and see what took my fancy, I had ideas, but no set direction set in my mind. Suddenly that direction seemed cloudy and un-certain, but that was ok. It was time to pick myself up, dust myself off and get right back out there. I figured I had two options, I could sit at home and dwell on it, or I could start making changes right there and then. So that's what I did. 

If one thing has surprised me in the weeks that have followed, it's that this here blog, that has been my best kept secret for well over 3 years, is now no longer secret. It's out in the open to friend, family and everyone I once worked with. The reactions following the un-veiling have surprised me, and I guess surprised them in turn, and you know what? I am pleased that it's known. I have worked hard on my little corner of cyber space, had some bigger than life opportunities and met some fantastic people, it was a part of my life that has been kept under lock and key. It's time I shout it from the roof tops, because I am so proud of everything that is documented here. 

I had absolutely no idea that the twists and turns of the weeks that followed were going to put a big smile on my face. I have now officially left my old job, and I am embarking on a exciting new adventure that came along at that exact moment when one door closed. As that one door shut, another door crept open and set me on a new track, one that I firmly believe I am meant to be on.

Sometimes things have to fall apart before they can fall back together, keep smiling. 

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