When you believe

Although there are many hand books available for purchase to walk you through the first weeks..Months and early years of your child's life. Nothing can ever really prepare you for all that there is to come. Those books are guidelines, mere text on paper, which is great should you have a text book baby, a text book toddler, a perfectly 'normal' pre-schooler. We all know that it's not that straight cut, babies, toddlers, children, no two are ever alike. They are all individuals weaving their way on their very own path, but they will all get where there supposed to go, in their own good sweet time.

If you have followed my journey with Leo over the past 17 months or so, you will know that we have had a bit of a bumpy ride. After being let down by our health visitor, and having to watch on as Leo was scored way below where he 'should' be on his development time after time, I got to the point where I expected to hear negativity in every direction, everyone seemed to have concerns, but nothing positive to say? Was there something underlying with my beautiful boy? Was I being naive? Should I stick to my guns? Of course I knew that everyone just wanted the best for Leo, just as I did. I happily accepted all the help offered to me and of course to Leo. I attended sensory play, speech therapy, nursery appointments, before the health visitor finally met with Leo again.

That appointment completely blew my mind, I really thought that we were going to get referred to the pediatrician, in fact I wanted to be referred. We could finally get one over all opinion and some answers, maybe some proper support to help Leo should he need it. The health visitor sat with us and decided there and then that Leo was absolutely fine, which in my heart of hearts I had known all along. Of course with that resounding declaration from the health visitor, there were now conflicting opinions rocking the boat, yet again. I had nursery telling me that Leo was severely behind and actually at the development level of a 22-36 month old, and the health visitor was adament that Leo performed exactly where he should be and beyond, actually placing him between the level of 4-5 years old.. 

While concern after concern for his speech was being raised, and the little boy I could see shining brightly on a daily basis wasn't being recognized in the nursery setting but was coming along all the time in my company, I couldn't understand how no one else could see it. How no one could see him learning and absorbing everything around him, a little sponge in this big wide world. I decided a long time ago to throw caution to the wind, to accept every bit of advice that was made available to us, but to trust my instinct. It may sound crazy, but I didn't worry about Leo. I had every faith in him finding his way, finding his voice and his confidence. You can't rush a child, I knew this, how didn't anyone else? So he didn't speak as well as Joe Blogs!? So he was quiet and reserved? Does that mean we have to pin a label on him?

Flash forward to today...

Today was Leo's second parent's evening. I went straight from work, and you know what? I was ready to hear all about the things Leo wasn't doing. I was mentally ready to look at that development sheet and see where Leo was...and where he 'should' be. To hear the worries about Leo starting school in September.. Only... This evening was the most positive feedback I have received from nursery in the history of Leo's time there.

He counts, recites his days of the week (over and over again!), joins in, dresses himself (at school anyway!), Sings NURSERY Rhymes (The boy that never did!), Asks questions, has many friends, talks with peers, initiates games... Not one negative item of feedback. All glowing, all singing all dancing! 

Leo got there. He GOT THERE! 

I was balled over. Knocked for six. Proud! 

So very proud. 

I have always been proud. Every milestone, bump in the road, smile and tear. This is his path, his time and there is no expiration date on learning. I have kept my cool and somehow my hair throughout this entire ordeal. I have watched Leo learn new words, try new experiences and come on all the time. 

Then one day his confidence just exploded. Out of nowhere, that beautiful boy of mine suddenly had the get up and go that had lay in hibernation until he was ready. Now he is un-stoppable, his vocabulary is widening all the time, oh the things we talk about. He may just be the only 3 year old who asks for a Costa Babycino and puts up the perfect argument as to why he NEEDS one. 

I can honestly say that tonight I sit here and write this post with an unbelievable pride, A pride that only comes when the battle is won, or at least when the waters calm and you can see through the storm to the reality of what you believed all along. That existence for me is that Leo was learning in his own good sweet time, and now he is picking up momentum, the cogs were always turning but suddenly the pace is gaining speed. There's a hunger to be filled, a curiosity that is propelling him forward, and I have been a part of it all. I believed in him, and I believed in myself, my instinct as his Mum. 

Guidelines... PAH! Guidelines are exactly that...Guidelines! That line they draw that your child is above or below doesn't exist. Every child is different. They learn when they are good and ready. 

I am so glad that I had the faith in my clever boy, and in myself!

46 Months Old

April has flown by and it has been a month that signifies that big changes are coming our way. Changes that let me know you’re not the baby I brought home from the hospital, anymore. Leo you are growing up, it’s plain to see. From the sheer height of you these days, to how you conduct yourself to the world and everybody around you. I can’t call you a toddler anymore because you outgrew that title quite a while ago. Mummy has to face facts that you are now a little boy, a little boy who will be starting school in a matter of months.

Just the other week we received news of your school place, and were over joyed that you got into the school we had dreamed of for you. We have been talking to you about school for months, we wanted you to be aware of the changes that were coming, but we didn't want to over load you. You have been worried, you know that it’s going to be very different, but you know that different isn't bad. It just means that there are new adventures ahead of you, and when has an adventure ever been anything less than exciting!?

Your Nursery being in the grounds of your new school really helps and they are doing a grand job of helping transition you ready for September. Nursery have started to take you and the other school leavers into the school on a Wednesday for a school lunch. I remember filling out the menu selection just before Easter, and with you being such a fussy eater I was worried that you wouldn’t eat any of the selections over the coming weeks and months. On that first Wednesday they took you over you seemed worried. You said you didn't want to go to big school, and that you wanted to stay at nursery. I thought of you more than usual on that day, and knowing it was a double whammy of things that you didn't want to do (Forest School) I thought it may be a less than great day for you. I was so pleased to get home from work that evening to discover that you had had the BEST DAY! You had loved Forest School for the first time ever, and even put your own trousers on (You’re a little bit lazy and refuse to do these things!) and you had enjoyed the activities. I think even Nursery were surprised and pleased with you!

Then of course it was time to head into School for your lunch, which was Tuna Wrap. I didn't think the Tuna would go down well, in fact I thought that meant that you wouldn't eat at all. Instead you picked the Tuna out declaring ‘I hate fish!’ and devoured the wrap on its own. You did so well and didn’t let the Tuna put you off, and I cannot fault you for that. You saw children that you already knew from the school and got very excited. When I saw you that evening you couldn't tell me about your day quickly enough.

The weather has been improving so you and I have been spending so much more time outside. We have been abandoning the car (Because Mummy is still on her health kick!) and we have been walking all over town. What we are really loving at the moment is a cheeky Costa, you have your Babycino and Mummy has her Cappuccino. In fact you relentlessly flirt with the poor barista. Each time you have been in recently you have flashed your blue eyes, lifted up your shoes and announced ‘I have new shoes!’. Of course the lady looks to admire your new shoes, but those shoes you are describing as new haven’t been new for the last 5 months. But you try again each time you see her, just to get her attention.

We take our Costa’s to the park, we sit in the glorious sunshine and then you’ll run off to play on the tunnel slide while I finish mine. It’s so peaceful sitting there and watching you run around, it made me realise that this right here and now, shows me just how grown up you are. I wonder when I suddenly gave you so much freedom? When I stopped having to follow you around everywhere you went, when I became content that you were now big enough to go down the tunnel slide on your own, and climb back to the top again. Of course I am always there watching you, making sure that you’re ok, that no one is being mean to you, but that again is something I am going to have to relent upon when the school days do swing around. For now though I love the days we get to spend in the park while the sun is shining and everyone else is at work or school. Those days are my favourite kind of days, so simple and special all at the same time.

We even took you on your very first camping experience! Ok so it was only in the back garden, and only because Granddad invested in a shiny new tent and couldn't wait to practice putting it up! We very quickly decided to seize the opportunity and make the most of the tent while it was there, we thought it would be a super time to see how you got on with camping, and of course you couldn't have been more excited about the opportunity! We kitted the tent out with your cot mattress and brought out an abundance of blankets so that we would all be toasty during the night. You and I Leo donned layers upon layers, you in PJ's and a Onesie and me in two Onesies! We did look a sight in our Christmas onesies!

We had a camp fire in the garden where you roasted your very first marshmallows with Daddy and then you were more than ready to go to sleep. You went straight off and slept until morning, so excited with your new experience and I know that it won't be long before you want to camp again! But let my back get back to normal first please!

Time isn’t slowing down little boy, and in 2 months’ time you will be turning 4. My head is a mash of all things Mario at the moment, because that is now your theme of choice. For a while you were set on Thomas. Now however…It’s all things Mario! I don’t know how I am going to pull this one off yet, but somehow, someway I’ll make it happen.

Until next month little man…

43 Months Old

The end of January saw your 43^rd month swing around, it had been a busy month spent with family and friends, and you were full of smiles and laughter as always. I had been watching you and listening to you intently, and loved hearing you come out with new words and sentences from your now bursting vocabulary. You would tell me ‘it’s a disgusting one’ when I lent in to give you a big kiss, and would promptly wipe the kiss of your face in a matter of seconds knowing full well that I was going to plant another on you the moment that you did!

We had been spending lots of time together as a family, days out and about to do fun and exciting things were on the cards for most weekends of late. We took a trip to Birmingham and spent an afternoon strolling around the SEALIFE Centre, and for the very first time you stopped to enjoy the sights of the aquatic life swimming around, instead of hurtling around like a looney toon. It was really special getting to show you all of the different marine life that is housed at the SEALIFE Centre, you were over the moon when we discovered ‘Nemo’ and ‘Dory’ swimming around! The overall show was stolen by the penguins who you could have sat and watched for hours. You got down on the floor and watched them swimming under water, and then as the penguins each hopped out, one by one onto dry land, you jumped up and ran to get a closer look as they waddled along. One even came up close and personal to you and you couldn’t wipe that cheeky smile of yours away.

We even took a visit to Build A Bear, where you had such a super time. You picked Olaf out of the wide selection of bears that were on offer and opted to have a Strawberry scent input in his foot (exclaiming ‘He smells like sweets!’)  and Elsa’s ‘Let it go’ tune in the other. You helped the lady stuff Olaf by holding your foot down on the machine, and in a matter of minutes you had your very own Olaf bear.

We even took a trip to Devon to see family friends, you had been talking about going to the seaside for weeks and were so excited to be seeing Bella and Dora for the first time in months. You spent the 3 hour car ride listening to The Muppet’s Most Wanted Sound Track, playing your DS and having a sing song. You were in fact as good as gold, and we only had to make one service station stop along the way for you to stretch your legs, and pick up a bag of Mini Eggs! The journey was a first for Mummy, who took on her very first long distance drive! Yes! Even on the motorway!

We spent the weekend in Devon and took a few trips to the cold January Seaside, armed with our wellies and Winter coats! You seemed to agree that visiting the beach in Winter is actually one of the best times to go, what with having the entire beach seemingly to ourselves, the ability to jump in the surf in our wellies and just ultimately be big kids were some of the best highlights for us. It didn't matter that it was bitterly cold for long, and rain was falling on occasion, we had a great time, and you didn't want to come home!

Your 43^rd month signified that it was only 5 months until your Birthday swung around again and you turned 4 years old. FOUR actual whole years old, somehow the idea still seems crazy because you can’t be that old, but times ticking by and soon you will be starting your first term at school. That little baby of mine is growing into a big strapping young boy,  at 43 months (3 and a half) it was hard to in vision you as the little baby that you once were. You were so independent and headstrong, such a grown up these days it was hard to remember that this wasn't always the case. Somewhere along the way you grew up, you learnt to walk and began to lose all of that baby chub I loved so much, you learnt to talk and do things for yourself but you still kept that cuddly side to you (for me anyway) and I relish that every day.