Life Unexpected: temper

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Help! My Toddler is Punishing Me!

Ever since I went back to work after the Christmas break Leo has been acting out at his Granny. When I say acting out I guess I am putting it lightly.

I guess I should start at the beginning?

Leo goes to Granny’s house while I go to work. She looks after him. So when I leave Granny gets the brunt of me leaving Leo and it is usually in the form of him hitting her or even hitting himself.

It swings in roundabouts, he is happy there but he associates being there with me leaving him. As soon as he sees Granny he lifts his hand to his head and gives himself a smack, in fact we may only be visiting on a day that I don’t have work and if she dares speak to him then he will repeatedly hit himself.

If Granny dares to try and take him out of my arms to relieve me so I can leave in a morning, Leo will firstly lash out at Granny for trying to take him and then at me for letting her.

I know this is all because I leave him. I leave him to go to work. Now we both tell him off for hitting, as he shouldn’t do it and of course he knows this really. But how do make him stop permanently…I just don’t know?

I know Leo doing this makes my Mum feel awful, as it is only her that he does this for. If his Granddad talks to him he is there reaching out to go for a cuddle. If my brother and sister are there he will play happily with them, but if my Mum dares to walk in and talk to him he will bop himself over the head again…. It is just when it comes to my Mum.

As for Leo hitting himself I just ignore it now, I don’t want to encourage the behaviour and I hope that he will soon forget and stop. It is horrid watching your child go about hitting themselves, but it is a behaviour that only comes about when he is with Granny or being told off.

Writing this makes Leo sound like a really volatile little boy, but this behaviour isn’t what defines him. Just last night he was sat giving me cuddles and trying to avoid bed time. He comes up and gives me kisses and then runs off to give Daddy one too. He plays affectionately with his baby doll and gives his Tigger Teddy big cuddles, and just this morning he went to Granny’s beautifully and I left them having cuddles with blankie together on the sofa.

So what else can I do?

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Toddler See, Toddler Do - Week 8

How Leo changes in a week never ceases to amaze me, his little mannerisms becoming more pronounced and his learning's of this weird and wonderful world that we live in becoming more apparent.

Leo only needs to see how something works once before he knows exactly what he should be doing with it. His fascination with the washing machine has enabled him to now turn it on all by himself. He can push all of the buttons and even turn the dials, which means he can alter the temperature and endanger all of our clothes to the horrors of colours running!

One of the most special times with Leo is always bedtime. It is a time where we can snuggle close while he drinks his bedtime bottle of milk, and although he is winding down from a busy day he is usually in the most amazing mood. I find myself sitting in awe of him as I see the sleepy expression flicker across his face, which in the next instance is replaced by the biggest, most beautiful smile beaming up through his milk. This of course promotes a chain reaction, how cannot I not smile back at this beautiful boy who just brings out the very best in me?

This one smile soon brings with it a series of little games before Leo succumbs to the overwhelming urge to sleep. He covers up his eyes and awaits my cue 'where has Leo gone? Leo!? Where are you!?' this prompts giggling on both parts as Leo suddenly relinquishes his hands from his eyes and says 'buh' which is his attempt at saying 'boo'.

Leo is now learning the names of different parts of the body, and he tends to use this quiet time with Mummy to put his learnings into action. He can be lay so still in my arms really concentrating on drinking his milk, when all of a sudden his finger will be in my mouth pointing out my teeth. I take this moment to tell him what they are and show him his too. He is fascinated by eyes and loves to point these out to me.

I can ask Leo where his head, hair, eyes and teeth are and he will usually direct me to the correct part of the anatomy. Seeing his learning come along like this really is magical, and I love knowing that I am playing such a big role in these learnings.

While Leo lays there in my arms at this time of night he does not wriggle to get down, or try to run away from me. This really is our time, and after a long day at work this is the greatest highlight of my day.

I mentioned recently that Leo had began hitting out in frustration, a form of behaviour that I dislike immensely and will not accept. Looking back I would pin point this starting around the time I returned to work. It felt like he was maybe angry at my actions and punishing me for daring to leave him. Over the last couple of weeks I have seen him lash out less and less, we have been addressing the problem and it looks to be working although he does get frustrated and regress, I am happy with the improvement in how often this happens.

Leo is a very active little man and it goes without saying that he can get very excited, but I knew and I know that he is such a sweetheart. I hated the thought that his actions may provoke negative thoughts about my parenting and my baby boy.

Leo recently mastered the sign for 'more' and he uses it as and when he feels like it. Completely on Leo's terms of course. The other night after he had eaten his dinner and a banana, I offered him a little chocolate treat, and this treat was welcomed with an open mouth meaning it was a big hit! He sat there quietly eating his little chocolate before I saw him signing across the table at me. The cheeky little monkey was signing for more, over and over again. Being the naughty mummy that I am and because I felt that as he had signed his intentions instead of crying, I happily obliged in giving him one last little bit of chocolate.

It just goes to show that he really does know what he wants. I had previously asked him whether he wanted more dinner, and he completely ignored my question. Neither did he want a yoghurt. But then with no offer or encouragement he told me that he would like more chocolate.

Now it is time to try and implement a few other signs into our daily lives. If you are going to take up baby signing I highly recommend sticking with it as it can take a while for them to pick up the signs, but once they start picking it up they learn so fast. With my return to work signing took a back seat but since Leo turned one he has been more susceptible to picking up the signs.

So what have your little ones been up to this week?

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