Help! My Toddler is Punishing Me!

Ever since I went back to work after the Christmas break Leo has been acting out at his Granny. When I say acting out I guess I am putting it lightly.

I guess I should start at the beginning?

Leo goes to Granny’s house while I go to work. She looks after him. So when I leave Granny gets the brunt of me leaving Leo and it is usually in the form of him hitting her or even hitting himself.

It swings in roundabouts, he is happy there but he associates being there with me leaving him. As soon as he sees Granny he lifts his hand to his head and gives himself a smack, in fact we may only be visiting on a day that I don’t have work and if she dares speak to him then he will repeatedly hit himself.

If Granny dares to try and take him out of my arms to relieve me so I can leave in a morning, Leo will firstly lash out at Granny for trying to take him and then at me for letting her. 

I know this is all because I leave him. I leave him to go to work. Now we both tell him off for hitting, as he shouldn’t do it and of course he knows this really. But how do make him stop permanently…I just don’t know?

I know Leo doing this makes my Mum feel awful, as it is only her that he does this for. If his Granddad talks to him he is there reaching out to go for a cuddle. If my brother and sister are there he will play happily with them, but if my Mum dares to walk in and talk to him he will bop himself over the head again…. It is just when it comes to my Mum.

As for Leo hitting himself I just ignore it now, I don’t want to encourage the behaviour and I hope that he will soon forget and stop. It is horrid watching your child go about hitting themselves, but it is a behaviour that only comes about when he is with Granny or being told off.

Writing this makes Leo sound like a really volatile little boy, but this behaviour isn’t what defines him. Just last night he was sat giving me cuddles and trying to avoid bed time. He comes up and gives me kisses and then runs off to give Daddy one too. He plays affectionately with his baby doll and gives his Tigger Teddy big cuddles, and just this morning he went to Granny’s beautifully and I left them having cuddles with blankie together on the sofa.

So what else can I do?