Leo woke
up one night last week and no amount of cuddles or milk would settle him. So
having work the next day and worrying about being up all night with him, I
succumbed and allowed him to snuggle up in our bed.
First fail.
The next
night Leo just would not go down in his cot, no matter what I did he just
screamed. This for Leo is completely out of character as he usually goes down
at 7pm with a bottle of milk and off to sleep he goes. He had even been
sleeping through the night and I thought our sleep problems were well and truly
behind us.
He stood
there in his cot holding his blankie and milk bottle tightly, and it suddenly
dawned on me where he wanted to go. Our bed. So I took him through just to see
what he would do and sure enough he began sucking on his blankie and drifting
off to sleep.
Second Fail.
He
didn’t care if I was by his side or not, so I left him to it and went down
stairs (by this time it was already 9pm and my evening was gone) but when I
came up to bed I moved him back to his cot. I suddenly thought that he may be
wanting a bed and the cot was the issue, in hind sight I can see that this was
not the right time for such a big change but we gave it a try.
I got
him a duvet and a new pillow with Mickey Mouse dotted all over it, and I had
Luke take down the cot side and in it’s place put a bumper bar to keep him from
rolling out. At bed time Leo refused to go in it and seemed really un-settled
again. So I lay down with him on his big boy bed and we cuddled. I put on his
Winnie the Pooh Light Show so that he could see it dancing around on the
ceiling. But still nothing worked.
In fact
he got so clingy that I couldn’t even leave the room and I was waving goodbye
to yet another evening of things I needed to get done.
So I
took him into our room – Third Fail.
I had
already decided that the cot bar was going back up as he quite
obviously was not ready for that change just yet and I was even ready to pull
out the big guns of controlled crying.
I lay
with my little man tickling his hand and holding him, and then I started to
move away as I heard him starting to drift off to sleep. It was like he could
detect when I got out of the door, with his alarm sounding making me come back
in.
When I
eventually got downstairs I was adamant that I was going to get him back into
his own bed and to going off to sleep without me. It is amazing how 2 nights
can make such a difference to a routine and what the child expects from you.
I moved
Leo into his big boy bed around 11pm again just as I was going to bed, and he
spent a matter of hours in there before he was awake and back in bed with Daddy
and I.
After
finishing work the next day I got the Allen Keys and asked Luke to put the cot
back together for me. Of course he decided not to help, told me that I should
battle it out with him as he would have to do it eventually. My argument on
this front is that he has demonstrated that he is not ready, and for me to get
him back in his cot I was going to have to make sure he couldn’t get out, so
that he would eventually go back off to sleep.
So
without Luke’s help I attempted to put the side back on only to get so far
before he comes in and tells me that I have blunted all of the screw heads. But
eventually Luke had Leo’s cot back together and ready for Leo that evening.
That
night Leo screamed for 1 hour and 45 minutes. He stood up screaming at me for
what felt like forever. I wondered if he would give in and go to sleep as we
hadn’t had to practice controlled crying for a very long time. Eventually he sat down in his cot, and then
lay down before he fell asleep and slept all night long.
The next
night Leo cried for around an hour before falling asleep, I was anxious it
would be longer as Luke and I had plans to go out. He was meant to be going to
Granny’s house overnight but I decided that it would be best if she came to us
so as not to disrupt his routine further. I knew if I didn’t have him fast
asleep by the time Granny arrived she wouldn’t be able to leave him crying and
would give into him. Luckily just before Granny arrived Leo was fast asleep and
dreaming and didn’t even know we left. He slept all night long and was bright
eyed and bushy tailed by morning.
Saturday
night Leo cried for around 20 minutes before drifting off and sleeping ALL
night.
Sunday
night took less than 5 minutes before he was sleeping like a baby, all through
the night!
Monday
night he went down just like he usually would, he let me tuck him in and even
hover by the cot like I always do. Before I walked out of the room telling him
I loved him. There were no tears, no screaming and he went straight off to
sleep. Sleeping all night long.
With
each passing night there really was a difference in how long Leo was crying for
until he was just back to normal. I have spoken on my views about controlledcrying before and how I felt about doing it. But now at 19 months old I have no
problem in sleep training him. I feel he needs to know that bedtime is bedtime
and he goes down to sleep in his cot (or bed…at some point in the future).
I've had to come to the conclusion that my little one needed sleep more than she needed me hanging around waking her up with my every yawn, its so hard to know what to do for the best but I remember my health visitor had 4 kids and said they asleep trained two who concentrate well, sleep well and are rested, the two who they stayed up all night with struggle, hard but I'm starting to think teaching her good sleep is an important skill!
ReplyDeleteSleep skills really are important, mainly for us parents :)
Deletex
We sleep trained Mads, well we kind of did but to be honest she was never the type that cried for hours at night anyway, she has always gone down ok. We definitely had to sleep train her to sleep in her cot during the day but she has been napping in there for about a year.
ReplyDeleteShe is two and isn't ready for a big girls bed yet, or more realistically I am not ready as I know she will try and get out! x
I think we are going to keep Leo in the cot now for as long as he needs. They are still little after all :) x
DeleteWe have had a bit of trouble with Rosie since she went in her big bed. She used to be a perfect sleeper but recently she takes ages to actually go to sleep (because she can just get back out) so we put a safety gate on her room. She still takes ages but she just plays in her rooms until she decides to go to sleep. Once she is asleep we open the gate, she got into the habit of coming into our room but she is a nightmare to sleep with, at first when we put her back through she would cry but now as soon as I hear her coming through to us I get up and put her back and she goes back to sleep.
ReplyDeleteAlso my partner Tom does exactly the same thing - you ask for his help and he says no but then will come through to tell you it's been done all wrong!! Infuriating!!!
Xxx
Sophie, it must be a man thing! Luke always does this too!
DeleteSounds like Rosie is doing really well! :) xx