Normally when you reach 12 weeks pregnant it brings a sense of relief, the miscarriage rate drops significantly and you will probably be thinking about how you announce you’re good news to friends and family.
I had made it to 12 weeks pregnant but my worries about miscarriage were as strong as they had been since that pregnancy test turned positive. We weren’t thinking that we could announce our news anytime soon, and we didn’t really know how this pregnancy was going to play out.
We didn’t even know if there would be a baby at the end of it.
Along with my anxiety about miscarriage, I was trying to be hopeful and excited. This baby is wanted, so wanted.
We had the second Fetal Medicine Appointment on the Monday, which of course offered a huge relief. It cemented that I needed to continue being positive, because the NT fluid was now normal and we were now waiting the results of our Harmony Test (which should arrive in week 14).
The tiredness seems to have returned this week with a vengeance, I have been falling asleep on the sofa under a blanket (something I never do) and haven’t been able to make it to the end of the movie Luke and I were watching. Much to his annoyance.
This week Leo brought a sickness bug home from school which he very kindly shared with me. I was sat at work on the Wednesday (Leo had been sick in the morning before school and was with my mum), and suddenly I felt nauseous. I thought it was in my head and carried on.... When I finished at 2pm I thought I was feeling ok.
I went to get Leo and within 20 minutes of getting to my parents, I was there with my head down the toilet. Brilliant. I thought maybe that would be it, but I couldn’t keep anything down.
I had been texting back and forward with Nicky (the lady who did my 10 week dating scan) and she was thrilled to hear our news. She asked if I had been given an official due date (which I thought was the date I was provided with last time), and told me that she would try and get me back in to get the official due date in my notes.
The next day Nicky text me and said that she had a spare appointment on Thursday 30th January. As it happened both Leo and I were off work and school due to the fact we had been poorly the day before (Leo was lots better now but couldn’t go back to school until the Friday). So it meant that Leo could come with me and Granny to finally see his little brother or sister on the screen.
The amazing thing was, Nicky was my midwife throughout my pregnancy with Leo, so it was a really lovely moment. Leo sat on a chair next to Granny while I lay on the bed, the gel was applied and the Doppler positioned, and boom... there was baby wiggling around and so much clearer than the images we saw at the fetal medicine unit.
I wanted to turn to see Leo’s face but couldn’t contort my body while being scanned. Nicky said straight away that baby was looking good and although she wasn’t going to re-measure the fluid, she could see that it was within normal range.
Nicky measured the baby and at 12+4 was measuring 61.7mm - all of these scans have highlighted just how quickly a baby grows and develops.
Leo was amazed and found the whole experience brilliant, I was so happy that he had got to come along, and as always he was so well behaved. He just looked and listened.
My due date was adjusted to August 9th 2020, a day out from where I had been placed at my 10 week ultrasound.
When the scan concluded Nicky gave me 2 new scans, 2 beautifully clear shots of our little nugget. You could see a real difference between these images and the ones from 10 weeks. The babies head was smaller and the body had got longer, and the fluid was now gone.
Absolutely incredible.
I sat up on the bed and we started talking. Nicky told me that everything looks perfect right now and that I need to try and relax and enjoy my pregnancy now. All of these scans has really built an anxiety up for me and before each and every scan I worry that there won’t be a heartbeat anymore.
Each and every time though, our baby has a beautifully strong heartbeat and is continuing to grow as expected. I think with the miscarriage and then the threat of a high NT, of course there is going to be anxiety at play.
I am one of the lucky ones though, if I had my fist scan at 12 weeks, I would never have known that there was a high fluid reading at 10 weeks. Nicky said the same, but we acted on the information that was available and I will always be thankful to Nicky for everything she did.
You can see here the difference between the 10 week scan and the 12 week scan, and you cannot help but notice the pocket of fluid on the babies neck in the top image. At this last scan Nicky said that it was the first thing that she noticed, where as I was just worrying about whether there would be a heartbeat. I guess as Nicky said, we were both looking for very different things.
I am just so glad that everything is looking much more positive now.
Nicky said that she was really impressed with how I took the news about the Nuchal measurement, which actually really threw me. I didn’t start flapping, I don’t know if that’s because I didn’t fully understand the gravity of what I was being told at the time, or if it was because I like to arm myself with facts. I remember being the same in July when I was told that I had a missed miscarriage. Again I kept it together through the appointment, and later when I was away from everyone I let my feelings out.
Nicky threw her arms around me and asked me to let her know when I got my Harmony results back. It was really lovely as she is such a genuine person and I could tell she really cared.
I found this scan appointment the most re-assuring of them all. Hearing Nicky tell me everything was fine carried so much more weight than it coming from anyone else.
I had been worried that the other consultant may have missed the fluid and Nicky would find it again. Thankfully though everything was fine, everything was normal, everything was as it should be.
We are almost at the end of the first trimester now, and what a rollercoaster it has been. I’m hoping that the rest of my pregnancy will be simple and straightforward. The one positive thing about all of this is, I have seen our little Nugget grow from a mere little blob on the screen to a proper teeny tiny little baby.
I am 12 weeks pregnant and already had 5 scans so far...
I am 12 weeks pregnant and already had 5 scans so far...
I’m going into the second trimester back in midwife led care, I’m no longer high risk and the chances of a baby at the end of all this are looking sunnier and sunnier.
Now all we need are our Harmony (NIPT) test results back, and we will be well on our way.
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