The Second Nursery Meeting

It has been a year since Leo started nursery, and in that year my little man has done so much growing up. You can see it in the way he conducts himself, to how he handles situations that present themselves to him, and in that short year he has transformed from my toddler into a little boy, a preschooler.

This last year has been one where I seemingly have to fight his corner and speak for him to the many people who are putting him behind where he should be. It is no secret that I have been fighting a losing battle since Leo’s 2 and a half year check, with conflicting opinions from various people, and no one really offering me a direct avenue to explore. I have fought for Leo to have his eyes and hearing tested, and pushed him into every appointment I possibly could in order to get to the bottom of the concerns expressed to me, because although I don’t share these concerns I have to action them.

The nursery have Leo 20 months behind developmentally in terms of his speech and how he conducts himself with other children, speech therapy have a variating opinion of their own,  the GP says he’s absolutely fine, the health visitor now puts him between 4 and a half to 5 years of age…So you can see why I have been at a loss with who to listen to. I am going with what the health visitor has said, because she saw Leo exactly like I do, although there are still people who don’t agree with her assessment.

Since I shared the results of Leo’s health visitor assessment with the nursery, I could see that they didn’t agree with it. Obviously if nursery still have concerns I want them to do everything possible for him, so I am pleased that our nursery leader called up our health visitor for a chat, I am again pleased that our health visitor confirmed her assessment first hand. They talked about why Leo could be measuring so drastically in comparison to the health visitors report, and avenues were discussed. The health visitor is adamant that Leo is shy and this reflects on how he is in the social environment, because she has witnessed first-hand that he has it all, and even his speech has come on in leaps and bounds.

On Friday I went into nursery and discussed the next steps for Leo, I explained that I had never shared the same concerns, but I wanted to action them and resolve them so that Leo could start school in September without this shadowing over him. The nursery leader explained that she couldn’t score Leo as highly as the health visitor because he does not perform to that level within the nursery environment, of course I was fully aware of this anyway and for me it’s not about Leo achieving the highest scores on a piece of paper, as long as he’s happy and moving forward I really could not ask anything more of him. I did have to comment upon the vast difference between how Leo is at home, and how he is at school, because even the nursery leader had told me that Leo was a different child the last time I had visited the nursery. I explained that Leo had been witnessed by the health visitor in exactly the same light I see him every single day. 

With my arrival at the nursery Leo ran up and gave me a big hug, and then he followed us into the little corner of the room where he began chatting my ear off almost instantly. The nursery leader was running through Leo’s progress charts with me and all the time Leo was stood next to use asking me questions, it was then the nursery leader said that she could now tick off the box demonstrating that Leo can and does ask questions. I think in the time I was there she ticked off quite a few boxes that had otherwise remained blank signifying that Leo can’t or won’t do those things at nursery.

We talked about the home visit and the nursery leader commented on how perhaps it would have been better to do it in the office environment, and how using the health visitors own tools would have been a better assessment than allowing Leo to use his own, but it was decided by the health visitor to just sit and observe Leo as he used his words, asked questions and did everything asked of him. I took this opportunity to express my own personal opinion, I personally believe that for one reason or another Leo doesn’t express himself in the same way within the nursery setting as he does at home. I think that he is reserved and keeps himself to himself because there are so many children or maybe he just likes his own company.

The discussion uncovered that nursery are coming around to my way of thinking, and have realised that Leo has selective hearing, at times a stubborn disposition and of course his own characteristics…Just like any other child his age. Apparently for a while they were unsure whether Leo understood the tasks being asked of him, but as I have known all along… If you ask Leo to do something that he doesn’t want to do, he will either ignore you, say ‘no I don’t want to!’ or tell you that he’s tired and will begin rubbing his eyes in a vain attempt to get out of it.

The example our nursery leader used to describe Leo’s mannerisms when it came to following actions was asking him to take his shoes and socks off. Leo looked at her and said ‘I tired!’ and rubbed his eyes while not complying with the task asked of him. They asked him again and this time threw in the incentive of being able to blow some bubbles if he did what was asked of him, so without even pausing…Leo took his shoes and socks off. It’s not a case of him not understanding what is being asked of him at all, it’s more a case of ‘Do I want to do this?’. If he doesn’t want to do something, he is excusing himself from doing it, and really he’s done a rather spectacular job if nursery have even considered whether he understands or not.

Another concern they have is that Leo doesn’t like or participate in Nursery Rhymes, and this is something I have always been aware of. He has never really enjoyed them and he used to tell me to stop whenever I broke into song… He knows them and he does occasionally recite one, usually Incy Wincy Spider… But for the most part he doesn’t like them. I am not saying that he doesn’t enjoy music though, he loves Christmas Songs and would more than happily sing Santa Clause is Coming to Town, Jingle Bells and Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer until the cows came home… He’s even been singing along to The Vamps – Somebody To You! So the mere fact that he doesn’t join in with nursery rhymes doesn’t overly concern me, especially if he is reserved at nursery, it may just be outside his comfort  zone.

Every child is different, this is what I have been saying all along, but it seems my child is being perceived on the basis that he isn’t loud, bossy, overly charismatic, confident and sassy in the nursery environment, when at home he is all of those things and much, much more. Yes he has had a speech delay, yes I believe that has held him back in certain areas, but now his speech is there and is growing by the day, I think it’s time to accept Leo for who he is. You can’t force a child to like nursery rhymes, talk, or play with other children if they don’t want to. They all have their own likes and dislikes for everything in this crazy world we live in, and Leo is no different. I think that in a class of 20+ children Leo’s voice gets lost amongst them,  although he loves the nursery I think he is still finding his feet and this is the way he does that.

When I think back to my early years at school I can re-call myself being exactly the same, I was quiet and reserved, and this followed me throughout my school life. I had my friends but if I was in a class without my circle of friends I would revert to being that same quiet young girl. I guess to an extent I am still like that to this very day, so it stands to reason that Leo will have inherited my social traits. Casting my memory back to my reception year at school, I can re-call them calling me out for shrugging my shoulders. If I was asked a question I didn’t know the answer to, I would simply shrug. That to me was my way of acknowledging a question that I couldn’t answer and closing the subject matter… When I told the nursery leader this she said that she could picture Leo shrugging his shoulders the exact same way.

The final discussion of the afternoon with Leo’s nursery leader was the impending school term, she said that the feels going up to school may set Leo back further, what with new children and new teachers to contend with. She went on to say that it is only now that they feel they are getting to know the ‘real Leo’ and this may be the same case in school, and it will take until the end of the school year for a teacher to get to know Leo, and then he will be moved on again and the process will repeat itself. I don’t really know how to feel about this? If this is the general opinion now, I would like to think that there may be some extra support in place to help ease Leo into his new environment in order to prevent him falling through the cracks and being over looked at school because he’s more reserved.

It would seem that although one battle has ceased, we will have a whole new one on our hands come September, but I will make it my mission to make sure that any additional support Leo may need in school, is there and ready to help him be all that he can be. 

The one with the doctor's appointment

You know your child better than anyone, you know their capabilities and their weaknesses, where they may need a helping hand or a word of encouragement. When it comes to Leo I feel like I know him inside out, I know that he watches people and takes everything in, he listens and takes parts of the conversation that you didn't even realise he was listening to. He loves children and plays happily, never one to lash out and should someone else hurt him, he looks at them, then looks at me pondering why they would do such a thing. Leo really is a great little boy, even if I do say so myself.

Earlier this month I booked Leo in with our family doctor who just so happens to be the surgeries pediatrician, after discussions with nursery and obviously the ill feeling that came about from the 2 and half year check last January, I just wanted to hear another persons perspective on my little man. I booked the appointment and took Leo along, he was as good as gold as we sat in the waiting room. He climbed all over me giggling the entire time, and thankfully kept his high spirits even when the doctor was running 30 minutes late.

When Leo's name was called we made our way into the appointment, she asked us what she could do for us today? And really I just wanted her to observe Leo and see what she thought? Was there more I could be doing to bring his speech along? Did she think there was another reason for the speech delay? 

Leo wasted no time in getting a few toys out, among them were the building blocks which he began to build up straight away. He started chatting to me about what he was doing and wanting me to play, it gave the doctor the perfect opportunity to observe Leo without him really realising that was the reason we were there.

The doctor watched and listened and heard Leo putting sentences together, she heard him constructing the words and putting them together to from sentences and said that she wasn't worried. She went on to say everything that I had believed all along, she told me that all children are different, that they all develop in their own time, that there is such a wide spectrum of 'normal'. All things that I knew, all pearls of wisdom I had clutched to when everyone else seemed to be concerned over my beautiful boy and those hoops that they needed him to jump through. We discussed the speech therapy options and the upcoming appointment that was booked in, she told us that she thought this would be enough to just open Leo's speech up further, but she was confident that he was going to keep developing and would be absolutely fine.

That appointment for me was so positive, finally someone else could see that my little man was yes a little behind with his speech, but the comprehension was there and the language was coming on all of the time, I stopped feeling guilty about not worrying there and then, because I wasn't worried. I was and am so confident with how Leo is developing, and finally having someone else within the health profession confirm this made me feel even better.

Leo is a bright, happy little boy who loves to learn. His memory is spot on and if you have promised him something you best remember because he certainly won't forget. Speech has been the only obstacle in his way, and as the days roll by and the weeks turn into months, I can see his progress right before me. I am so pleased with how he has come on since the Summer, and in my eyes there is absolutely no question about it, he will be absolutely fine.

29 Months Old

29 months have whizzed right by and today I stand looking at you, my very almost 2 and a half year old. How this came to be I am still fathoming in my mind. It does only seem like yesterday that we were celebrating your 2^nd birthday… But that is now 6 whole months ago already.

That is one of the many lessons that I have learnt since becoming a parent, time has a habit of running away with itself and before you know it you are left scratching your head and wondering where all that time has gone.

29 months on you are becoming wiser and more vocal with each passing day. You know exactly what I am talking about even if you do decide to turn your cheek and pretend you didn’t hear me. But we both know that you did and that you are just being a cheeky little rascal.

I expect nothing less, boy of mine!

I have noticed that this month you are saying and attempting to say a lot more than you once were. You listen to the conversations that I am having with people around you, and then you throw a few choice words out as to what you have just heard. For me this month my favourite thing that you have learnt to say is ‘that’s cool!’. You decided to start saying it while we were out with Granny and you heard me say it towards an item I was looking at in a shop. Then you were there saying it too!

You then even went on to shout ‘Buzz’ and had me instantly trying to find the source of your Buzz interest, only for me to lay eyes on a Toy Story pencil case and exclaim ‘Oh yeah!’. In the next breath (and apparently high pitched tone) you copied my words and the exact tone I had used. You have a habit of taking the mickey out of Mumma, which we both found absolutely hilarious.

While we were visiting at Granny’s recently you over heard Aiya having a typical pre-teen moment. It must have been something to do with her ‘borrowing’ Granny’s laptop again and not returning it, as Granny didn’t look too impressed… and Aiya certainly didn’t sound impressed! *Que pre-teen stamping around* As Aiya stomped off to get the laptop for Granny she muttered ‘ I’ll get your computer Mum!’ So what did you do Leo? Of course you stomped off too in Aiya’s wake and muttered ‘I’ll get your computer Mum’. There was no mistaking it. That is exactly what you said!

This month I watched my fussy little eater stare down at the sweetcorn on his spoon. I watched closely in a way that you couldn't see me watching you, as I could see that you were getting brave enough to try the sweetcorn. You have had it plenty of times before but you pick and choose when you will eat it... The spoon grew closer to your mouth until you actually put it inside and exclaimed 'Mmm!'

Lets hope you continue to try things eh Mr.

At 29 months you loved to use Mumma as your personal climbing frame, not to mention the great trampoline you turn me into… Guess what I put on your Christmas list to Santa this year! Your affectionate and still a completely blue eyed Mumma’s boy, sometimes I am all you really want and no one else will do. I think this sometimes winds Daddy up, but I know there will come a day where you and Daddy will be off doing boy’s things, so right now I am truly revelling in being the very centre of your world.

You seem to be going through a phase where you have to have me completely to yourself. If I so much as glance in another child’s direction you let me know your thoughts about this… Then you will show your dismay further by refusing to come for a cuddle. Of course if I have to give another child a cuddle and your mood is not in it’s usual sparkling state… then that makes the situation a little more stressful on all accounts.. But it is all made ok again by a snuggle.

You are at an age now where you tell your 1 year old cousin the ways of the world. If he does something you know that he shouldn’t be doing, you tell him in a very matter of factly way! You point your finger and raise it towards him and shout ‘NO JOSH’, prompting him to look at you and present his pearly whites in the form of a very cheeky smile.

You still go to bed like a dream and right now are still in your cot, but we are looking into getting you a new big boy bed in the New Year. I think that you are ready and we are so pleased with just how well you sleep that we think you are at the right age to make the transition.

29 months has already come and gone, you have grown and developed in ways that I could only imagine when holding my newborn baby in my arms for that very first time. But with each day that goes by, every week that turns into a month I glow with pride that little bit more.

Bringing you up and watching you turn into such a cleaver and caring little boy (temper tantrums aside…) has really been a dream come true. And even when you are as flat as a pancake on the floor, kicking your arms and legs up and down like you do… or when you decide to make a run for it when I least expect it… You are still the most amazing little boy in the whole wide world.