At 5 weeks the baby is the size of a Orange Seed!
There is still so much uncertainty over just how far gone I am.
Hopefully this is a mystery that can be wrapped up this coming Thursday, that is when I visit my local hospital for a scan to pinpoint just how many weeks pregnant I am.
How am I feeling?
Last week we went for my re-scan at Peek-a-baby, and I left feeling horrible.
They could see the sack but no baby, words like ‘early pregnancy failure’ were thrown around and I felt my body start to shut down. I didn’t want to talk to the sonographer any longer, she wasn’t a lady of many words (English wasn’t her first language which didn’t help), and I felt that she hadn’t communicated anything very well to me at all.
The tears started to fall in the car when we left, we were now on a journey to tell Luke’s mum the news of our pregnancy and expanding family. A conversation I didn’t feel like having anymore, because there was doubt in my mind, I may not be having a baby at all anymore.
I didn’t even know if I was going to be able to stop the tears before we arrived, and I didn’t know if they would stop and stay shut off during any conversations we were about to have. I was supposed to be excited, I was supposed to be happy about telling family about our news, but I actually felt like a fraud telling people about a baby that may actually never be.
On that car journey I googled early scans, I googled pregnancy sacks that didn’t house embryos and came across ‘blighted ovum’, this is a term that refers to a pregnancy that will never ever be.
A blighted ovum is when a pregnancy establishes, a sack develops, a positive pregnancy test is witnessed and the placenta even starts to develop... but the baby never does.
It’s an early form of miscarriage.
Whatever way I choose to look at this pregnancy, we weren’t going to know anything for another 2 weeks, and that fortnight has felt like an eternity.
Telling Luke's Family
We arrived at Luke’s Mum’s house, and Luke made the announcement. Everyone was very happy, but I didn’t share that excitement. Instead I felt anxious, worried and lost.
That next day I was an emotional mess, Luke very almost booked an early scan somewhere else to try and put my mind at rest, but I told him we needed to wait. I kept going over my dates again and again, Luke was certain that I was just way to early to see anything much on a scan.
Boy how I wanted to believe him.
Going Back Over My Dates...
I went over the dates all day, plotting possible eventualities on my calendar. I ovulated on May 21st, got my first faint positive on June 3rd. Got a 1-2 weeks pregnant on a Clear Blue Digital on June 4th and added 2 weeks to that date to bring me out at 4 weeks pregnant. When I had attended my first Peek a Baby Scan on June 21st, I believed I was already 6 weeks pregnant, which would make me 8 weeks now.
Actually though when I looked closely at the dates, allowing up to 12 days for implantation, it was entirely possible that at this stage... I could theoretically only be 5 weeks pregnant.
That would explain the empty sac at the first scan - I would have only been 3 weeks pregnant. It would explain the empty sac at the re-scan - I would have only been 5 weeks pregnant.
It would have been WAY too early to see anything else really at this stage, however the sonographer could have told me what the measurements were and where that would date me instead of jumping straight to miscarriage.
My symptoms come and go, but my boobs have been sore pretty consistently. After some reflective time I have decided not to get myself worked up about an early scan, I have gone over the different scenarios... blighted ovum, early miscarriage and the third scenario.... my dates are slightly out!
I think my dates are out, I know when I ovulated but I don’t know when I actually conceived. Now I’ve pulled myself down off the ceiling and had time to mull it all over (and do another dozen pregnancy tests....) I’ve come to the conclusion that it will be good news when I go to my nhs scan next week.
My Body has given me no reason to distrust it, no bleeding, no cramps. If I hadn't gone for the 'Reassurance' Scan, I would probably still just be in disbelief that I was pregnant.
My advice to anyone considering an early scan is don't do it. My experience had me feeling worse than when I first entered.
Here’s a little overview of 5 weeks pregnant..
I’ve been loving sleep this week, early nights and extra long in bed wherever possible! It ordinarily takes me an age to get off to sleep, but these days I shut my eyes and I’m in the land of nod.
Symptoms:
Achey boobs, fatigue slightly queasy (every now and then) still peeing multiple times, baby brain is in full swing (I think this is just who I am these days!) My boobs have gone really veiny now!
Bump:
No bump to report yet!
Exercise:
HAHA! Exercise? What is this exercise you speak of!? Nope none of that has been completed this week....
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