Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Calling all Stay at Home Mummy's & Daddy's

Dear all stay at home Mum’s & Dad’s,

The further I get into my maternity leave, the more I realise how much I am dreading going back to work, and the harder I know it will be leaving Leo 5 days a week from 8:30 in the morning...until 5pm at night.
I am taking advantage of every moment I get to spend with Leo...we are going to baby groups on a weekly basis and we have just enrolled in a baby massage and yoga course! We socialise with other Mummy’s with baby’s around the same age and we also have days where it is just the two of us...enjoying each other’s company.
I saved my holiday entitlement up last year to bump up my maternity pay, and worked right up until the very end of my pregnancy....I have been into my place of work this week, and under new rules that have been introduced...I can no longer be on leave and obtain my holiday, it turns out now....you have to be on one or the other.
This actually works out better for me, as I was originally having to go back to work in March/April....but I can now see myself being able to stay off until May/June! This is all because once my maternity pay stops....I can bank in all my holiday! It is a blessing in disguise...
This means I can now afford to stay at home, make sure all my bills are covered and also see Leo crawl...walk...see him turn 1 year old on June 27th 2012 and carry on all of our many adventures together. Who knows I may even hear his first words! The thought of missing these crucial moments in his life, shake me to the core. How can I even consider going back to work and missing these specialmoments in my baby’s development?
This is why I have addressed this post to all Stay at Home Mummy’s and Daddy’s, because I have a few questions that I would like a few varied opinions on.

How and when did you make your decision to not return to the world of work?

How did your other half react?

Do you enjoy your role as Stay at Home Parent?

How do you cover the monthly outgoing bills?

What are your thoughts on women that do return to work?

Do you have any advice, for women or men who would like to take on the role as a stay at home parent?


I would love to hear from all walks of life so I can get many as many varied opinions as possible. Please pass this post around to all stay at home parents so we can get a good insight into how they made their decisions, and maybe help a few parents like me, who want the best of both worlds.
Laura and Leo xx


11 comments:

  1. YAAAYYY! This means you'll also be around for the birth of our child :))) xx

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  2. Great post! Right, I'll start from the top so I don't miss anything!

    How and when did you make your decision to not return to the world of work?
    At my back to work interview! I had planned to go back but it really hit me then what I'd be giving up.

    How did your other half react?
    Roy was hugely supportive and still is, he told me later that he'd half hoped I would make that decision but didn't want to say as he didn't want me to feel pressured if it wasn't what I wanted.

    Do you enjoy your role as Stay at Home Parent?
    I love it. I'm very lucky as I work from home now full time but am flexible so can take the eldest to school, work around the youngest, be there for trips and assemblies and what not.

    How do you cover the monthly outgoing bills?

    What are your thoughts on women that do return to work?
    As above I work from home now, I am a freelance writer doing anything from ghost-writing blogs, writing articles, producing copy etc, it's varied work and never boring.

    Do you have any advice, for women or men who would like to take on the role as a stay at home parent?
    Sort your budget properly, be very realistic about your income and expenditure.
    Other than that, remember that nothing is permanent. If you decide to stay at home and it doesn't work for you or the family, you CAN change your mind. happy parents, happy children!

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  3. Hi Nicki, thanks so much for your response!

    What a amazing other half you have! & what a busy schedule you must have, running house and working! It must be brilliant getting the best of both worlds :-))

    Thanks again for posting and giving such good advice!

    Laura xx

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  4. How and when did you make your decision to not return to the world of work?

    I took a 3 month maternity leave and when I returned to work, my boss allowed to experiment with bringing baby to work. this turned out to be a bad idea, but he did not want to lose me, so we changed my roll around a bit (which unfortunately resulted in me taking a pay-cut :/), and I was able to find a way to work from home. I couldn't and still can't afford not to work somehow, and this was the best way to go about it.

    How did your other half react?

    He was very pleased!!!

    Do you enjoy your role as Stay at Home Parent?

    I enjoy it most of the time (I definitely don't miss the commute and added stress of being in the office!), but sometimes I miss actually going in to work. I do go in on occasion and I relish those times being back in "the working world." It's nice to be around adults for a change :)

    How do you cover the monthly outgoing bills?

    This is very tough at times; we basically just budget, budget, budget! and try to stick to it as best we can.

    What are your thoughts on women that do return to work?

    Everyone should do what they want, whether going back to work or becoming a wahm or sahm. I only hope that they find the best nanny for their child and aren't forced to go back to work if they don't wish to.

    Do you have any advice, for women or men who would like to take on the role as a stay at home parent?

    It's not as easy as some think....in fact, it's often harder on me than going in to work! At work, you clock in then clock out- you don't clock out when you're a parent!

    I hope I answered these well enough, good luck being a sahm!

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  5. Hi Jessica,

    Thanks so much for getting back to me :-) I think it is amazing how you juggle it all! You really must be some kind of superwoman! Do you ever get some just you time?

    You really have given me some great advice and I am going to implement it into my own routine when I do start working from home next week!

    Gosh you were working again so soon after having Lilly! I am glad things worked out for you, but remember to unwind too lovely :-))

    Thanks again Jessica, you rely have been helpful xx

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  6. Hi Laura, thanks for drawing my attention to this on twitter. Here's my input...

    How and when did you make your decision to not return to the world of work?
    Mine was a strange situation to begin with. I was working a maternity cover contract and hadn't been on the job long enough to be able to take maternity leave myself, so when after 5 months of being violently sick during my pregnancy, there was still no sign of the sickness letting up, so my husband and I took the decision that as there wasn't even the need for me to stay on, I should stop then and take care of myself. After that, as I had no job to go back to, it was decided that I would stay home and be a full-time mum.

    How did your other half react?
    Completely supportive. He has always been of the opinion that the best way is for a child's mum to raise that child, and works very hard to be able to give our daughter that benefit.

    Do you enjoy your role as Stay at Home Parent?
    I love it, I have no regrets and would recommend it to anyone. Having said that, many people may well get bored, so it may not BE for everyone, but for me, it works and comes naturally.

    How do you cover the monthly outgoing bills?
    As I said, my husband works very hard to maintain our lifestyle. Certain purchases need to be planned instead of made on a whim, but it feels worth it.

    What are your thoughts on women that do return to work?
    Each to his own. Some people NEED that contact with the working world that they were used to. Others have no choice and wish they could be SAHMs. I don't feel I can make any judgements either way.

    Do you have any advice, for women or men who would like to take on the role as a stay at home parent?
    Keep busy, make it a rule to get out and do something outside of the house everyday - you AND baby will need it. Attend play groups, look for classes (there are many free or VERY cheap ones), have a social life within your SAH life. As for the breadwinner, they will need to keep in mind that at the end of the day, when they return home from a tiring day at work, SAHP will want to talk. Be understanding. Adult contact is important :)

    Best of luck! xx

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  7. Hi Accidently Kle,
    Many thanks for commenting. Firstly sorry to hear you suffered such sickness in your pregnancy...as you know, it is all so worth it in the end! Secondly I am so glad you are enjoying your role as SAHM! It must be so rewarding being able to do things on a daily basis.
    Thanks again :-)) xx

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  8. Hi Laura!

    I'm one of those hearth & home types, so I knew that I wanted to stay home with my darlings but it meant our income would be cut in half because I made as much money as my husband. To make the decision harder my employer wanted me to return so they gave me a 20% increase in pay when they heard I was pregnant and agreed that I could return one day a week, one week a month - whatever I wanted.

    I loved my job, but I just knew that I couldn't be away from my daughter. My neighbor had her baby 2 months before me and she cried everyday that she went to work until she finally made the decision to stay home. That would be me!!

    Our life changed, to say the least. The traveling, dining out, and shopping for recreation stopped. We rented movies instead of going to the theater. But we adored our little sweetheart and could spend hours just looking at her! I have no regrets. They were the best days of my life.

    My husband and I agreed that weekdays the baby and home were my responsibility because work and the long commute home was very exhausting for him. He took turns staying up with the baby on weekends.

    Don't feel as though you are less of a mom if you return to work. We all have to make the choice for ourselves and what's best for the family. Being weighed down by debt isn't an alternative, especially with the economy the way it is. Lots of kids have survived and even thrived in working homes too. Just be good to yourself and don't expect perfection either way!

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  9. Hi Theresa,

    Thanks so much for your response on the this, the more the merrier :-))

    Sorry to hear you had such a rough time with sickness, but as you are more than aware it is all worth it in the end!

    You have a similar situation to myself and my other half in the respect of night duty with baby. I prefer to do the lot just so I know he's gone down well, when I do go back to work though he is going to have to get up too! Generally speaking though...Leo is very good and usually sleeps through.

    Thanks for your comment regarding me feeling less of a Mum...I think that is the hardest thought when I think of going back to work.

    I hope things continue to go well for you! and all the best to you and your daughter xxx

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  10. How and when did you make your decision to not return to the world of work?

    MY CHILD JUST TURNED 4, I DECIDED TO QUIT MY JOB BECAUSE WE COULDN'T FIND ADEQUATE DAYCARE. HE WAS GOING TO THE 4 YEAR OLD CLASS AT MY JOB AND HIS BEHAVIOR WAS SOOO OUT OF HAND!


    How did your other half react?

    MY HUSBAND AGREED


    Do you enjoy your role as Stay at Home Parent?

    YES, SOMETIMES IT CAN GET PRETTY BORING, BUT BLOGGING AND MAKING UP FUN ACTIVITIES WITH MY BABY ALWAYS HELPS


    How do you cover the monthly outgoing bills?

    MY HUSBANDS CHECK, MY PAYCHECK WAS ALWAYS FOR FUN PURPOSES, WE JUST HAVE MORE FUN AT HOME NOW LOL


    What are your thoughts on women that do return to work?

    IT IS DEFINETLY HARD, I'VE BEEN THROUGH BOTH. YOU JUST HAVE TO KNOW WHEN IT'S RIGHT


    Do you have any advice, for women or men who would like to take on the role as a stay at home parent?

    PATIENCE!!

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  11. JSol - Thanks again for commenting :-)

    It all sounds as though you really enjoy it! I am sure your kids do too!

    I bet you are all looking forward to Christmas now! xx

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