Friday 27 January 2012

Laura...? Laura? Who?

When I began to tell friends and family I was pregnant, I could give you a list of 'friends' that would not be there anymore. I know it is wrong to assume....but my assumptions were correct.

I made the effort to tell all my 'close' friends in person. I met them for drinks and broke the news. These friends said they were happy for me and then after my announcement I didn't hear much from them after that. I knew what their opinions really were before I even told them, so to say I wasn't surprised is a under statement.

When I was 30 weeks pregnant, I decided that I would go out with Luke for a few non alcoholic beverages. I came across some of these girls who cooed about just how big I had got, one even went as far to say I would never get back into my old clothes again. A friend would never say that!

These girls are single, childless and have no real responsibility expect for partying and holding down a 9-5. So there weekends are full of partying, which of course I don't have much time for any more. In fact I can count the times I have been out on one hand, and then I have given myself a curfew to get back to Leo. 

I used to be very like these girls, I lived for the weekend and loved to go out. I stood by my friends though, especially through times when I knew they would need me.

Of course when Leo was born, the text messages rolled in congratulating me. Then the weeks rolled by and my birthday came around, and again the text messages came thick and fast. That was August....and the last time some of my 'friends' felt they should get in touch. Okay so maybe I have not contacted them...but I guess at best...I feel alienated.

No invites come from these girls for drinks any more, meals out. I know they all still meet....but you know what. I expected this. Like I said...I am not surprised and in all honesty...I don't actually mind.

My life has changed, it changed for the better and along the way I knew some people would not accept this and would fall at the first hurdle. In hind sight these people were never real friends. They were acquaintances along the way. I know for some people though, who go through pregnancy and then find their 'friends' suddenly dwindle...and are then gone, difficult to comprehend.

I cannot stress enough to get out and about, go to your ante-natal classes and meet ladies who are also going through the same things as you, and when you have your baby socialise and go to baby groups. It is so good to get out and about. Look into baby massage and do things to keep you and baby active.

I can count my real friends on one hand, and going through pregnancy and attending ante-natal classes. I have met some truly amazing people, that I do count as real friends, and it is nice to have some common ground...our babies.

With these new found friends I have attended groups, baby yoga and baby massage. We meet for coffee and keep each other sane on our Mummy hood adventures.

How many of you have experienced scenarios like this? Where you find yourself thinking 'Laura?? hmmm Laura who?

I left the party girl behind and became a Mummy, and I wouldn't change a thing xx


  1. Sometimes you realise who your friends are. It's a shame, but sometimes life moves on. Hope you're new friends at emote trustworthy.

  2. Evening, Thanks for the comment!

    It is amazing when you find out who your true friends are. I think you know deep down all along.

    Thanks very much lovely xx

  3. It's sad that this sort of thing happens but it shows the difference between friends and acquittances.

    I am a bloke so didn't have this happen. The closest thing I can relate it to is when I got a Sega Mega Drive and all my Nintendo-owning friends stopped talking to me.

    Um, if that sounds immature and insensitive then I apologise.

    1. It is sad, but I guess it is one of those things. Yes your right it really is the difference.

      Hehe..of course not. Don't apologise. Oh no, I can imagine at the time that was not very pleasant! :-) It all works out in the end xx

  4. I think this is universal wherever you go - I experienced it and a close friend of mine whose baby is younger than Pickle is currently coming to the realisation that the friends who are still there a while after your baby is born are generally the ones who are worth keeping around. She's been trying her best to stay in the loop, but keeps getting ditched.
    The difficult thing is, as a young(ish) mum, I know that I wanted to keep some of my single mates around, I still wanted to be involved. But unfortunately, as lonely as motherhood can be, my single mates couldn't really be bothered with me anymore. It's alienating and wrong, but unfortunately, all too common. Good thing is though, you get to know who is there for you and who is a real friend.
    Good post hun xxx

  5. I think you are right, there are always friend's that are not true. A life changing event such as pregnancy really shows people's true colours. Like you said, it is usually the single friends.
    That is a hard point, I think people think that once you have a baby, you wont want to go out and do the old things any more. Which is true to a certain extent but of course you will still want to go out for the drinks or even a meal.

    Thank you for the comment my lovely xx


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