Monday 30 April 2012

Show Me The Money

I have now entered that dreaded Grey area of maternity leave... You know, that 3 months un-paid kinda leave. I have always been independent. I have always worked for my money and always insisted on either taking it in turns to pay for things or going 50/50.

That is just me and having no new money coming in, is actually really depressing...

I know it is only 3 months, and I know that at this moment in time I have saved enough money to pay all my bills for this amount of time. My problem is that I don't have any money to go out and about with, not even really for a coffee. Those simple luxuries in life that really make all the difference.

It is really just money to go off and play with. Money that gets you out of the house for a few hours.

Luke of course will give me money to do these things but I find it hard to take it. I don't like the feeling in the pitt of my stomach that suddenly springs out of no where when he offers it. Of course I know we are a team but being the person I am, I find it so hard to shrug these feelings off.

I hate knowing that I cannot offer to pay for a takeaway as a treat, or even just giving half to foot the bill. I feel like I am just taking from him and it does not sit well with me.

Just today I have had to ask him for his card to do Leo's monthly shop, where I would usually purchase all the nappies and Milk we need for our little monster. Even though all this is for Leo and he needs it, I resent having to ask Luke for the funds. This is my first month into not being paid and I already hate not having any money.

I shouldn't feel like this as I have been able to pay for this throughout the duration of my leave, and I have also sorted all the larger sizes of Leo's clothes right up to 18 months plus to a certain extent. This means Leo is sorted for the most part and he does not need much. I know that for the next 3 months, I am just going to have to accept Luke's help.

I could have gone back to work and by passed this un-paid leave, but I did not want to. I wanted this extra time to spend with Leo, as it is so much more important to me than a few notes. I am going to have to accept the help that Luke is wanting to provide, and swallow up my pride.

As much fun as I know it would be being a stay at home Mum, I think I would slowly go insane not having a income of my own. I hate having to ask for anything and love that I do usually have the luxury to just get what I need as I need it, whether it is something for Leo or a little treat for myself.

How did you get through your 3 months unpaid leave and did you share any of my reservations?



  1. I hated not having money to do stuff and felt much like you. I ended up not going back to work and we are still in the same position. I've not had new clothes since before I was pregnant, and am in desperate need of new make up etc but we just cannot afford it.
    It really does get me down and does cause arguments - like last month hubby said he'd pay for me to have my hair cut as I'd not had it done for months and then nearly passed out that it had cost so much (think he was expecting it to be less than £10)
    I am now just starting as a childminder but have so much to pay out for its depressing.
    Sorry - I've not helped much have I??

  2. Hi lovely,

    I wish you all the luck in setting up your childminding business. My Mum has just retired from childminding after doing it since I was little. It was a great way for her to be at home for us and still bring in a income. I hope you enjoy it :-))

    Men often don't understand that hair cut's actually cost a small fortune! It does not matter where you go, it still costs that.

    You have actually really helped! It is nice to know that I am not the only one to feel like this :-)

    Thanks again lovely xx

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