Eyes Wide Open

Last night was the worst night in the history of bad nights. I had made myself a hot chocolate with the full intention of getting into bed and closing my tired eyes. This plan all changed at midnight when Leo awoke and greeted me with a chuckle and a very happy smile.

If only that smile had stayed, and if only he went back to sleep...Maybe I would have got some shut eye too...

Leo's smile soon slipped off his little face completely and was replaced with crying, crying and oh yes... Screaming! We must not forget that...as that is a big part of my nightmare night, and I can only imagine this headache I am currently fighting off, is a result of the screaming...

My beautiful boy had turned into some little monster baby, who was determined to keep me awake at all costs. Nothing worked after he had drank all of his milk, expect watching 'In The Night Garden...' and oh my...If I ever see Iggle Piggle again I will not be held responsible for my actions. 13 episodes later brings us up to the crack of dawn, and Leo is still fighting off cuddles and still refusing to sleep.

When I did manage to tuck him back into bed and sneak out of his prison cell of a room. He bided his time, he would wait until I had tucked myself back into bed, and just started to warm up the sheets, close my eyes and start to fall asleep...Que the screams starting back up again and me quickly running back into his room.

I have to admit by about 3:00am the frustration really hit me, I just wanted to scream and shout and I have to admit I even shed a few tears at 5:00am this morning. When all else failed I sat on the stairs with my head in my hands and I let him cry. I thought he may tire himself out eventually but I soon realised that he was just getting more hysterical and suddenly regretted my actions. I felt guilty, immensely guilty and I ran back into him. Instantly sorry for leaving him to his own devices.

That frustration is unlike anything I have ever felt before, and I just wanted my bed and some well deserved sleep, but sleep was an impossible option that was just not going to come easily.

I stayed up with Leo all night long, and the only shut eye I achieved was about half an hour when he closed his eyes, but then when he opened them again, Leo was back with a vengeance. I resigned myself to the living room and accepted the fact that we were not going to bed.

7:00am came around and everyone else in the house started getting up for the day, the great thing about living at home is that once everyone else was up, Granny took Leo off my hands so I could get a little shut eye. Now I am thinking about tonight and how I cannot take another demon night like last night.

Leo is currently teething and I am sure this is partly to blame for his unsociable waking hours. He has also come out in a red dotty rash, all over his face and body, which I have been informed could be a viral infection. Just to rule everything out, Leo is booked in at the doctors for just after 5pm this evening. I am truly hoping that the doctor can provide a magic remedy to help Leo sleep and make any pain he may be feeling, go away. Of course I know this probably wont be the case...

I am now gearing up for another bad night. Another night of eyes wide open and no chance of snuggling up in bed. I am also gearing up for a very early morning, as tomorrow Leo and I will be attending the Birmingham baby show, so if you see us and we look like the living dead, please don't be afraid, we are just very tired!

I just wanted to thank Nicola over at Life through my eyes for keeping me company last night and wish her all the luck in the world for the very immanent birth of her baby girl. You are going to do fantastic and I look forward to hearing all about your amazing experience!

Laura

xx